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What should couples do (or not do) to experience a healthy relationship? I see people whining about their partner ALL FUCKING TIME on the internet, so add your 5 cents on how to lessen challenges.
I just can't type out all the good stuff in my relationship. It would take a year. We have plenty of problems too, but we have so much good stuff.
Most recently though, my fiance hunted down pickle shark.
There's this weird old museum near us that was shaped like a giant earthworm & it got shut down due to shady business practices...anyways, they had a giant fucking pickled great white shark & it just got left there. I love sharks& I've been obsessed with this pickle shark...where did it come from...where did it go? How did they lose a pickled gigantic fucking shark?? I found all these articles on how it got written about online, visited, vandalized & disappeared off the face of the earth. I've been looking for it since I came to Australia.
& he found it! He hunted it down & took me to see it at night, out of nowhere.
Her name is Rosie & she was awesome! Hail pickle shark
That's one of the things I love about him...he just does me stuff just for me. I'm fucking obsessed with Jurassic park & he took me to an outdoor screening in the park with dinosaur costumes & live JP music. Best birthday gift I've ever gotten.
Where did he come from, where did he go? Where did he come from, Cotton Eyed - GIANT FUCKING PICKLED SHARK?!
At this weird shop called "crystal world." You can look it up. They sell every type of crystal imaginable to hippies & collectors. They have a shop jam packed with every type of rock/fossil...even $100,000 AUD dinosaur fossils- absolutely amazing...plus a yard full of random dinosaur sculptures. It's in some random small town too & looks totally backwoods.
You can find it if you search "rosie the shark." We just had no idea what to look for, so it took a while.
Thanks for the awesome story. Here's a link for further reading. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rosie_the_Shark
If you want to zoom down with Google Earth to Wildlife Wonderland, use this address: 1/10 Acton Rd, Bass, VIC. Wow, that's quite a worm.
Communication, and mutual compatibility are keys to a healthy relationship, in addition to mutual attraction for starters.
The key to a healthy long-term relationship is for one or both parties to be dead inside.
Okay.
1. Be yourself. Obvious right? It's not that easy once you're in a serious relationship for the first time. Don't categorize/limit yourself into a "type" and have your partner fall in love with the fake-personality gimmick. Another is, don't be afraid of your flaws or tarnishing your image either; if you got to fart, just fart; if you got to poop, then go blow that bathroom up; you're not the first human to do seemly embarrassing shit and you wont be the last.
2. Be honest. I use to be one of those people who would be like, "Communication is key!" But until recently, I realized that talking doesn't always get you anywhere if nothing is truly being said. Never be afraid to tell your partner the truth, just don't do it in a malicious way.
3. Don't try to change your partner, whether it be for good or selfishness. Basically, see your partner for who she/he really is, a person. What you see is what you get, personality included. There's no, "Oh, he'll mature as he gets older." Or, "If I'm nice to her, she'll be nice to me!" People don't work like that. Change happens from within and only if that person is ready; you can't force it.
4. Always have self-respect. This is an odd one, but it's very important. If you care about yourself, potentially bad/abusive partners can't take advantage of you or you'll realize how terrible they are a lot sooner rather than years down the road.
So those are my top 4. There's more, but to me, those are the most important.
My parents didn't get along too well, in large part due to poor communication. They'd go round and round having the same arguments, because it was always about winning rather than listening.
They were defensive in conversations, assuming aggression even when none was intended.
In my opinion the credentials of a healthy relationship are:
Mutual respect
Mutual sense of responsibility in the relationship
Trust
Loyalty
Gentle care
Communication
Patience
Unity of beliefs, values, and interests
Willingness to compromise, but not too much
And of course, not being siblings, because that's only hawt in anime
Don't settle for anything less than wonderful. If you aren't head over heels crazy about each other and you don't make each other happy then don't even bother getting into a relationship.
I agree with everything Tealights has said here.
I think it's important to manage your expectations. Accept the fact that there is no perfect person somewhere out there who will provide absolutely everything you need without fail and never do or say something that disappoints you or causes you inconvenience or pain. If you go through life willing to accept only perfection, you're going to be constantly disappointed and you won't be able to appreciate all the things that are good.
A willingness on the part of both people to negotiate and compromise is also very important. In any healthy relationship, the people will both have some things they aren't willing to tolerate, and these will be communicated unambiguously. But they will understand that being with someone else requires flexibility and lots of give and take.
With the exception of abuse, don't have a litmus test for what is or is not a good or acceptable relationship. I see people breaking up because somebody snooped at a phone or flirted with an ex. I see people, women especially, leaving happy situations with people they love because their friends cried "double standard" or "you deserve better." No, you end a relationship because of abuse, humiliation, danger, or good old fashioned unhappiness. Not the other fuss. It all comes and goes. Above all else if you want, on a gut level, to save a relationship, you go ahead and do it - not because you should or because of who's watching, but because you love your guy or girl and you're happy.
"I see people breaking up because somebody snooped at a phone or flirted with an ex. I see people, women especially, leaving happy situations with people they love because their friends cried "double standard" or "you deserve better."
At least those are SOME kind of reason, no matter how petty.
What about when things are going great for about two weeks and then the woman just decides, out of nowhere, to end it for NO apparent reason?
The "no apparent reason" in question is usually that her attraction to him has collapsed. This happens for a variety of reasons, and women are less likely to fully understand them than men are, simply because the things men most value in women are easy to see. What a woman values in a man is an interlocking pattern of factors that are often invisible to everyone else around them.
Is that why a lot of sexy and/or sophisticated women date dirt bags?
I used to live in this neighborhood and the manager of it was some blonde who had a "sexy, sophisticated secretary" look. High class looking, probably early 30's, whatever.
One day she mentioned having a lunch date with her husband. I was imagining James Bond in his Sunday best showing up in a black sports car. But no. it was some tall, scraggly, scruffy dorky looking biker type.
Like, why?
I watched guys do this to females as well. This confuses me as well. I feel like if you break up you should at least give your partner a legitimate reason.
Ok.
My observations:
Jealousy will eventually ruin it.
selfish behavior also.
suspition.
If you dont trust one another.
If you dont trust each other and love enough to put the other first.
( trusting that they also are looking out for you, so you dont need to. )
Ive seen more then I like of ugly relationships just held together by one persons love, committment or vow.
Ive seen relations ripped apart by petty jealousy and the person putting themself first above everything.
Even their own kids.
And yes, whining about their partner.
knowone is perfect.
we all need to remember that.
When you point a finger.
theres 3 pointing right back at you.
I cant say what makes a perfect relation.
But I know what ruins them.
Having fun together, and being able to meet in the middle sometimes. You have to respect eachothers pet peeves.
They key for a healthy relationship is the chastity key that the woman holds!
The best way is to avoid them altogether.
Eventually you will get bored of having sex with the same person, that takes less than a year, maybe less than a month.
You do not have to uproot your whole lifestyle to appease someone else.
You can spend your money on someone far more deserving than some date. Namely, yourself.
You don't have to dick with birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, or pretend to be concerned when your partner's family is in crisis.
And best of all, there does not come a day when your partner wants to split for no reason at all.
You know it's like you build a relationship or at least try, there is a lot of worry, then one day, the person vanishes, wants to get back with some ex, or my favorite excuse I have heard, they say their friend is in the hospital and they have been worried.
Ain't got time for NONE of that shit.
I think your mind is going to change one day when you meet the right one
I already been thru that.
If I ever do find another relationship, they would have to understand that I live on my own terms and I am not good at going through the motions of what others expect.
Living on your own terms is great but sometimes a compromise is necessary for the one you love. Example: if she/he hates smacking just eating in the other room sometimes. Or picking up your trash. Its not always that bad
minor things yes but some people want you to overhaul your entire life to suit them.
Get this - years ago I met some bitch on a dating site, she knew right away I was transgender but still wanted to go out. Soon aftet, she suddenly had a problem with how I dressed. Like bitch you knew before we even talked.