Was i rude to my girlfriend

She wanted to practice for her job interview this Wednesday. We had a mock trial over the phone.

Her answers to questions were generally good, but she has a tendency to give too much information. I got annoyed because I really want her to get this job, so I said “Jesus Christ nobody wants to hear that much! When people call me at work and they talk too fast and too much I loose interest.”

She’s has social anxiety. I started to harp on her out of nowhere that she needs to look confident. I related to his party she tends to be quiet, and I told her if she’s quiet like that during the interview she’s going to look weird and not fit in the culture. I think that hurt her feelings since she’s insecure.

She has a tendency to talk fast out of nervousness, and I find it annoying. I told her I really don’t want to be anxious and I asked if there’s some supplement to take that could calm her down.

Whenever she tried to answer I kept interrupting her telling her how she could answer the question better.

I feel bad. I felt like she was giving good answers and I just found what faults she has elsewhere and kept bringing them up, like her social anxieties and looking awkward.

Was I mean?

Voting Results
17% Normal
Based on 12 votes (2 yes)
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Comments ( 25 )
  • litelander8

    You were mad she was over answering? And mad that she’s too quiet? That’s fucking annoying. People who conduct interviews are used to different reactions. You should be kind. Let her practice. And encourage how successful she can and will be.

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    • She has a bad habit of either talking too fast when excited, or generally being too quiet. My point was that company’s don’t care so much about the answers but if you can fit in their culture.

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      • litelander8

        Culture? It’s literally 2020. If someone can do the job, they get hired. I don’t get it.

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        • I looked at their websites and I could tell each employee their own personality. They didn’t talk fast or acted shy when they weren’t talking. I just worried she may not fit in.

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  • Ellenna

    You were rude and tactless and undermining and have probably stuffed up her chances of doing well in the interview.

    Why are you with someone you obviously don't care about? If she has any self esteem left I hope she dumps you.

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    • My comments were from a place of love for her sake. I’ve told her my pet peeve at work is people who talk too fast and that’s one of her bad habits, it wasn’t meant to hurt her.

      To be fair I helped her find the job and I’m just trying to get her to improve for the interview.

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      • Ellenna

        It sounds to me as if you're trying to control her, not help her.

        By the way, how would this sound to you, said in a patronising voice: "You are such an idiot, you can't even spell the word companies"?

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      • NoLifer

        I get your piont but probably could have been a bit more tactful.

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  • bigbudchonga

    You've probably smashed up her confidence tbh. Sometimes the best thing you can do to help someone is just tell them they're doing a good job, even if it's not technically true.

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    • I really want her to get this job, her current job doesn’t pay well and I want her to compensated for her talents.

      I meant my answers from a place of love and not criticism; I really want her to know that so she doesn’t take my comments as an insult.

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      • bigbudchonga

        Dude, I don't doubt your intent for a second. I imagine it even hurt you saying those things to her, but you thought they needed to be said. She sounds too fragile to criticise though, in regards to a situation like this where her nerves are already going to be on edge. I doubt she'll be able to put your constructive criticisms right, she'll be more nervous for the interview now, and she'll probably do something weirder than what she would be doing in a paradoxical attempt to act more natural.

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        • She contacted me recently and said my one comment offended her, but that she also realizes I meant well.

          The comment I made was, can we give you something like Xanax to calm you down? My tone wasn’t joking, but it was meant as one.

          She said that comment destroyed her confidence and asked me if I really want to be with someone who’s anxiety makes them feel this way.

          I feel bad now. I know she was excited but now I feel like I ruined her chances of having a good interview.

          The truth is I failed to remember she’s quiet conscientious. She works well and when she’s feels she hasn’t given 100% she won’t eat for awhile.

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          • bigbudchonga

            You didn't mean to hurt her at all, dude. It makes sense that you feel bad, but you shouldn't; intent is what should matter.

            I can understand her passively having a go at you about this, but I don't think she should tbh. Now you feel like shit too; what good has that done anyone?

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            • It doesn’t because I know o destroyed her confidence. She also asked how I would feel if she was this blunt about my weight issues.

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  • leggs91200

    If the OP were a woman who did this to her B/F, everyone would be saying how the B/F is a big pussy who needs to "man up".

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  • Nikclaire

    You told her she is quiet and talks too much. So you like childish minds games and screwing with people huh? Wow. What a man!

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    • It was meant to say her answers to interview questions were too long. I told her nobody wants a long explanation, and I probably went overboard saying “Jesus Christ, you talk to fast and give such a long answer. Nobody is going to pay attention to that!”

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  • Isuckdickdaily69

    *lose

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  • howaminotmyself

    I think you need a lesson in constructive criticism.

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  • SwickDinging

    Are you the girlfriend and writing as if you are the boyfriend?

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    • No

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  • RoseIsabella

    You were acting like an ass.

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    • Maybe but it wasn’t meant to be that way. I’ve done much to help for this job including putting her resume online.

      My intentions weren’t to be rude - just helpful.

      I told her I’m just used to being blunt at with and I carried the attitude over.

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  • You took bluntness to an unhelpful level.

    You may have been joking about your of snide remarks, but you probably destroyed her confidence when she was already anxious.

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    • I was trying to be helpful.

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