Wanting to help girlfriend but don't want to push

I am in a new relationship with an amazing woman who's raising her two teenage boys,and working long hours with 2 jobs, on one day she starts one job at 6am, goes to like 3pm, then after picking up her kid from school, goes to a second job and works to 1 in the morning, goes home, sleeps, and back up again and at work at 6! This bothers me, so after discussing it together, she agreed to let me match what she makes on 2nd job so she won't have to go, to give her a break. Well it's going on 3rd week and she still has'nt quit 2nd job,and i'm wanting to ask her about it,but don't want to seem pushy. What do i do, i hate seeing her working so many hours but don't want to seem overbearing?

Is It Normal?
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  • "I am in a new relationship"

    I don't know what "new" means, but it sounds like you've only recently become involved with this woman, and you're already wanting to make her dependent on you. If she has any sense and cares about her kids, she's going to be wondering what's going to happen if you decide in a few weeks that, actually, you don't want to build your life around her and her boys, and you head out the door, leaving her with a large hole in her finances and possibly a blot on her job record because she left a job without any notice.

    Your admiration for the woman and your desire to help make her life easier is laudable, but you need to give her time to make her own decision on this. If you start pestering her, I think it might end badly. The woman is a single mother, and it's entirely possible that her history with the men she's had in her life makes her feel suspicious about men in general and the strings that are sometimes attached to the gifts they offer.

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  • Dude she sounds like an amazing catch to me. Maybe she feels it's too soon for her to give up her job with you. She probably doesnt want to end up breaking it off with you and then not having any money. Id give it time. Reassure her that you'll support her and make it clear you arent going anywhere.

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  • In a relationship like that it sounds like your asking for trouble. I would definently talk to her though, don't worry about being pushy.

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  • Thank you guys for saying exactly what I need to hear, I appreciate this!!

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  • I wouldn't urge her to leave her job at all. Not trying to sound rude but it's not about you coming to save them, it's about her kids. She understands they are first priority so she's going to continue holding it down for them

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    • Yeah but maybe he wants to move in and be a stepdad. Me personally if im dating a chic I dont want her to have to work at all. Definitely not 2 jobs and 17 hour workdays. I think 17 hours a day plus being mom is too much! She needs more time with her kids.

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  • You said it's new relationship. She's probably been burned bad in the past. For her to relinquish her 2nd job and put the entire fate of her and her kids lives in the hands of someone she hasn't known that long, she's probably scared shirtless you are gonna be all talk and then run when it's time for action. If you want to help her in a nonchalant way, find where she pays her utilities at, cable, electric, water, gas and don't ask her. Don't say anything to her just take it upon yourself to do a good deed that she will probably be ever so grateful. Maybe pay her utilities up a couple months each. When she gets her bills it will show credits. She will probably start crying. But in that way she will know that you mean what you say. Good Luck. Or you could always go get her like a prepaid debit card that she can use to pay things if you are unsure.

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