Traumatised by a nightmare

I’ve had nightmares about the end of the world, aliens, daemons and I think I’ve had the worst one I ever had so far recently. I was at the hospital and my mom gave birth to a baby boy. The doctors grabbed the baby, and circumcised it in front of me there was blood everywhere and screaming, they didn’t even ask my mom first. There was another person there, maybe it was my dad but he had a different voice and he was yelling “DO IT DO IT!” I was crying and ran out of the hospital. And that’s when I woke up and ran to my moms room. I ran to her room instead because my dad is pro-circ and he likes to go on his rants. Once I get into her room I break down crying and explain the nightmare to her. It’s been three weeks I’m still depressed. I live in a state with a high circumcision rate and I always feel depressed around little boys. I was at my little cousins house recently and I talked to my aunt about the nightmare I had. And she tells me she regrets even getting my cousin circumcised. I felt depressed the whole time I was there. My relatives were there having fun. As I try really hard to keep myself from crying. At church when they mention it I tell my dad I’m just going to the bathroom, but in reality I’m just waiting for the pastor to stop talking about it before I go back in, usually 5-10 minutes, and my dad doesn’t think too much of it.
Similarly I was at a friend of my moms house and she was pro choice. I never knew this until she put up a sign outside her house. When we drove up I thought, maybe it’s the next house over, but then she walked out and greeted us. When we were inside she would crack jokes and I would laugh, then feel sick to my stomach that I was even laughing at her jokes. This woman is too old to have children, but the fact she supports abortion made me sick.

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