To have this impending fear of marriage & kids

83% Normal
5 Comments

Hello, I would describe myself as being a somewhat stable 26-year-old woman, except for the fact that I get some anxiety whenever I hear or see that someone around my age already has children and/or is married.

The fact that I am so behind this particular stage brings me a few years back to when so many people began commenting on how much "mature" they were to be in an intimate union, just so they could feel better about themselves. Around that time I began losing my hair and falling into some sort of mild depression (but this story is for another time).

I always wanted to eventually get married and have kids when the time felt right. I suppose I still have time since some in my family got married in their 30s. After stumbling upon the modern dating/MGTOW community online I fell into a sort of dark place once again. While I really want to have a family in the future, I have mixed feelings about whether or not I am made for this role. It seems like both people slowly start killing themselves. Quite often their relationships go to hell, especially when kids are involved. This is absolutely terrifying.

After seeing my neighbors' 'good' marriage dismantle after close to 30 years, perhaps there is no point after all. Marriage was never about love, but reproduction. Right? It's nothing more than a symbolic contract.

Now my head is a mess.

I try to date and get to know new guys. So far, I just haven't met anyone I wanted to be in a relationship with. I've always been a late bloomer....

Voting Results
83% Normal
Based on 12 votes (10 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • SuperGrym
    5 years ago

    Late bloomer? Naw, you're not any different from many other people out there.

    Not everyone has time, energy or will to engage in a relationship until later in life.

    I myself just started to actively search for a relationship at the age of 29. I simply didn't have time earlier, as I was focusing on my career.

    Many (note: many, not all) of my university mates are still career-minded and are down prioritising relationships for the time being.

    You're 26, you still have plenty of time. Singles of all ages are available out there.

    I would understand your worries regarding your biological clock if you were 36, but not at the age of 26. ;-)

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  • BlindSpot
    5 years ago

    Be positive and you will go far. Try to find someone who comforts you and matches your personality and goals in life, someone you enjoy spending hours talking with. Not everything is meant to last and sharing your life with someone else is better than being alone. Perhaps you're just having cold feet, like all of us young people do. When you find the right person, jump in with full faith and don't let the past or others experiences prevent you from having your own.

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  • brutus
    5 years ago

    Normal. I am 31 years old and i dont plan on getting married anytime soon.

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  • SmokeEverything
    5 years ago

    It's sad that people actually do settle into marriages and have kids just to feel like they're "grown up" or because they feel like they have to. Marriage isn't even about reproducing it's about locking people into a system. It's a contract you sign with somebody to have your kids so you're legally obligated to reproduce and lock you into the everybody-does-the-same-thing picket fence garbage.

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  • andithoughtiwasweird
    5 years ago

    ive come to the conclusion that having kids is smart, so u have someone to take care of you when u are old. my grandparents couldnt survive without my mom. so i suggest u try it.

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