That i am starting to resent my fiance

6 Comments

i have lived with my OH for 6 years, dont get me wrong i absolutely love him. BUT I am starting to resent him. i do 100% of the cooking, and most of the cleaning. he does give me lifts to work if he can which i appreciate. but even if it is his day off and i have been on a 12 hour shift, it wont cross his mind to make dinner or go to the shop for any shopping. is it normal that it is making me feel like i care more than he does? or that i am starting to feel like i deserve more?

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Comments ( 6 )
  • Cookiesinbed
    6 years ago

    When both of you work, both of you must take care of the house too. You have to communicate with him and tell him that this is not ok for you and it's giving you bitter feelings about him. If he cares enough he will change, if not, maybe you need a change. Unless it's something your willing to put up with for years to come.

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  • JonathanOo
    6 years ago

    Yes it's normal for you to feel that way. It's most likely that he takes what you do for granted and doesn't appreciate the effort you put in everyday. Many guys just don't get it, you'll have to talk to him to see if he even is Willing to put more effort into how you both take care of each other

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    • sapphire_sunset
      6 years ago

      thanks for the support:) i just feel like im whining, but i work just as hard as he does, and on my day off i clean the house, make dinner, do the washing, etc. on his day off, he plays video games. he says he hates cooking, and i love cooking, which i do, but even if it was once a week it would be appreciated.

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      • JonathanOo
        6 years ago

        I'm sure he hates cooking and doing chores but he is likely stuck in his ways. Until you bring it up to him nothing will change. It's tough but it's worse to live the rest of your life that way. And trust me, the more time that goes on the less he will do and the more you'll likely be doing. You have a chance to alter that but it won't be easy. Sorry and much luck

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  • redrainbow22
    6 years ago

    And this is why it's supposed to be normal for the girl to stay at home and the guy to work.

    So that it doesnt cause too much stress for the girl, and the guy is happy when his wife cooks for him.

    And everyone is happy. But the cost of living has gone up and ect ect.

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  • Boojum
    6 years ago

    Congratulations on finding yourself the Mom of a lazy adult boy.

    A living-together relationship should be a partnership, especially if both people are employed.

    You shouldn't need to make a chore-rota or track how many hours you each spend doing things that are beneficial to both of you, but you should both have a feeling that you're each doing a reasonably equal share of household tasks.

    You've got a choice: accept that he's a lazy slob who will take as much as he can with little thought for you, or tell him that things have to change. He will then have a choice of either growing up, or going off to look for a new live-in housekeeper and cook.

    If you let this slide, it will not get any better. Maybe he's just infantile, inconsiderate, slob who is capable of mending his ways, but he could simply be a user by nature.

    Oh, and you've been together six years? There's a good reason why "seven year itch" is a cliché. It's around that point that a lot of relationships flounder due to complacency and boredom.

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