That I am so obsessed with my wife
I have been married just over 18 months now and I am just completely obsessed with my wife - more so than when we first got married which back then i thought impossible.
She drives me crazy - i fear literally! I can't stop my thoughts going back to her throughout the day - I've gone home early in the past because I just couldn't take the pent up frustration. I worry my behaviour will drive her away and I am trying to control it, but it's hard I find every little thing she does adorable, every little noise, every movement - I sound so soppy i know but I just can't seem to shake it.
I know she's going to get fed up of the calls/texts when I'm at work, she's going to get tired of sex almost everyday and she's going to get pissed off that I want to spend all my free time with her, but when she does go out with her firends I just find myself sitting at home watching the clock waiting for her to come back so I can feel her skin and smell her scent again.
it doesn't help that she doesn't complain, she giggles when I bring up what a brute I am, the giggle itself sends me spining, it's like a viscious circle.
And then I can't seem to express how much I love her, I try and tell her and in the end the frustration drives me to trying to physically express it and I end up hurting her unintentionally, she's had bruises on her sides from where I've held her too tightly, she's had love bites that look like dracula was involved and i've made her sore on a number of occasions.
Is it because she was a virgin when we married? is it because she's so much younger than me? is it because we went through a lot together before we married? is it because shes more attractive than me and I so scared i'll lose her i'm acting like a brute?
Some of her friends and her parents already think something not right is going on - i hate to think what my behaviour looks like to outsiders.