Student accommodation worker giving only me her personal number

3 Comments

Recently a few months ago I moved into a student accommodation.
I love it here, but a few days ago there’s this guy I live with that’s been hitting on me, following me and just being really creepy.
This guy is doing the same to one of the staff that works here and is creeping her out too.
This guy has family background problems and is 27 years of age, I’m 20 and the staff is 23. So he is older than us so that makes the situation even scarier.
He is obsessed with her and constantly wants to be around her.
The other day I had a chat with her explaining the way this guy was going on was creeping me out the fact that I live in the same building as him and is across the other apartment from me makes it more dangerous.
And we got really close. She went outside for a smoke, made me coffee, And chatted for hours about the most random things. College, family, I even told her things I wouldn’t tell others. Was like the older sister I never had. ( i have no sisters, 2 brothers btw)
She then told me not to worry that they are sorting it out, and then she gave me her personal number and told me not to give it to anyone!
I find this really sweet as she was just trying to help, but in a way it’s really unprofessional as her job.
Other people in the house have sent emails and complaint about him staring and being weird with them too.
But didn’t give them her PERSONAL number. It would be different if it was her work one but it was not.
And dunno how to really feel about it as I’m going to be living here for another 3-4 years. The relationship is confusing as I’m used to boundaries between professional and non-professional. Help!

She should be giving it to others not only you 0
She obviously really likes and cares about you 5
You should tell someone that’s not right 0
That’s really unprofessional! But sweet 0
She just wants to be close with you 0
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Comments ( 3 )
  • olderdude-xx
    3 years ago

    I believe that she cares and is perhaps looking for a friend too.

    Many friendships are made in professional settings; and there is nothing wrong with providing a personal phone number to select people. It would only be unprofessional if she gave her number to everyone, and possibly is she did it publicly while in the office.

    Why don't you text her and ask her what she wants to talk about or do... Perhaps you end up going out for coffee... a movie, etc, and its the start of a solid friendship.

    I wish you well with this, and well with the annoying guy as well.

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  • Mammal-lover
    3 years ago

    Just over thinking it. You get along well and she wishes for continued friendship. Doesnt matter she works their. You will realize this as you grow and start working

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  • Boojum
    3 years ago

    I strongly suspect that you're over-thinking this.

    What the woman has done is recognise and acknowledge the concerns of another woman who's close to her own age, and she's given you the means to contact her immediately and directly if something unpleasant should occur. So she's being sympathetic and trying to be supportive, but it appears that you're doing your best to read some creepy ulterior motive into this.

    Imagine you were dealing with some sort of chronic or terminal illness. Would you prefer your doctor to be cold, distant, maintain an attitude of professional detachment and tell you that you had to call and make an appointment in the normal way if you should have any problems or concerns, or would you find it reassuring if they were to give you their personal number so you could contact them directly if you needed urgent advice and help? There would be absolutely nothing unprofessional about them giving you their number, but there's also nothing unprofessional about them choosing not to give that number to everyone.

    People in professional roles are still people, and they're entitled to have opinions about the relative needs of their clients. As long as they conform to whatever organisational rules apply, they're allowed to make a personal judgement that a particular client should be given a higher priority than others.

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