Straight, but going out with a gay guy

I was once a long-haired pretty sort, but then I buzzed my hair and grew a beard. None of the ladies liked me, and when 2020 happened and I couldn't get a barber, I grew my hair back out and started shaving because it was uncomfortable. Since then, I have gone back to my pretty look, and while I think it suits me, only one girl has so far talked to me since. Some older women who liked 70's rockers talk to me because it was popular back then and I do have awesome hair, but otherwise, women have ignored me both when I had short hair and a beard (because I'm a super scrawny nerd who can't grow a beard, even at 30) and they (mostly) ignored me when I went back to the long haired clean-shaven look at 30. The only people that consistently like and complement me are gay guys, and I'm thinking about dating one - we've been talking and he and I have a lot of the same interests and tastes, especially in music - both of us are big fans of bands that nobody else has even heard of, and we both have some pretty awesome sound equipment and instruments to mess around with. We are going on a date in the near future. Is it normal for a straight man to date a gay man because he appreciated his appearance and has the same interests?

Voting Results
36% Normal
Based on 22 votes (8 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • Somenormie

    But at that point you aren't straight anymore.

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    • Giorgi

      Could be various factors, involving him not necessarily being straight but combination of many orientations and among many other things, which one of them frustration with inability to date much the opposite gender getting his brain to find a relation with anyone who accepts it, whether it be a male or a female, and in this case it's male, so it's many things to debate and converse about, but speculatively.

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  • fatok

    I think you should let him fuck you and give you a facial

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  • kikilizzo

    That makes you bi or at least bicurious if you are attracted to him, but from the sounds of it you guys just have stuff in common and that's called friendship. You want to be his friend. Do not lead him on if that is the case. Think about how it would feel to cross normal friendship boundries with him before you go ahead with this.

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    • Millie_the_evil_saint

      Yeah it's not fair on the gay guy. To lead him on like that... Just because OP can't handle being single for a year or two.

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  • Millie_the_evil_saint

    Yeah if it would be just meeting up as platonic friends, that's fine. But somehow I get a different vibe from OP's post. Friends don't really compliment each other on their appearance like that. The vibe here sounds more romantic.

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  • Millie_the_evil_saint

    Ummm.... As long as you are okay with the eventual umm.... sexual activity? I guess. Unless you're now dating an asexual gay guy and it would never come to that. Then you're good.

    Still doesn't sound very healthy (in my opinion) to give up on romance with the people you find attractive... just because you failed a few times. So you're thirty. So what? Do you think that is old? Did you expect to already be married by this age? Have you tried asking more women out?

    I know a lot of women who actually prefer long hair on guys, .....so having long hair is not an excuse.

    It's fine to date a guy. It's just that... if you aren't actually attracted to him, it's not fair on him and not fair on you. When you could be with someone you're actually attracted to.

    Being nerdy or thin is also not an excuse. There's plenty of single, nerdy ladies out there. Go to any library or book store. Literally. Not everyone will like you. But you only need one woman, right? Just weird to give up on trying when it seems like you haven't really tried.

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    • I didn't fail a few times, I got absolutely nowhere dozens. He and I have already fucked, it wasn't that bad. I still consider myself straight, but I don't mind. People are weird, being one thing is your orientation not your entire capacity. He's been with women before, but considers himself gay. He just makes me feel good, is all. And really, that's all I ask for sometimes.

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  • ospry

    "Straight"

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  • MyZephyr

    Keep going. With a bit of luck you'll end up naked in bed with him and you'll find out just how great it feels to be fucked.

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