So what can i do
I do not have any joy in anything in this life. Everyday I feel exhausted and my head pounds. If I do nothing, if I do boring things, stressful things, fun things... Same outcome of emotion and no energy.
Everytime I feel the tiniest shred of happiness something awful happens. At some point you stop and ask yourself what you are even hanging around for then. I go to therapy. New psychologist again. She asked me to write down my emotions throughout everyday. I havent done it because there is no emotion and I see no point of writing that down or doing anything else for that matter. I also cannot tell her this because she will have me locked up. My own family was considering putting me to a psych ward a year ago so what wouldnt she do when im not even honest with my family about everything. Jesus
Most of my life used to be exactly as you describe here. To change the way you feel, you need to change your habits. Try and get some sunlight for a few minutes everyday, it will ease the sensation of being alwais tired. Try some exercise some walk it helps a lot. Get proper professional teraphist and medication
If you are asking this to someone who is depressed they will tell you there is no hope. If you ask this to someone who is doing well they will give you advice that you will more than likely not take. At the end of the day it is your life and you must decide what happiness is and whether or not you want to have it. No one else in this earth is going to be able to help you