So hard to make friends in new city

I moved to a new city nearly three years ago and I still don't have any friends that I hang out on a regular basis, why is it so hard to meet people? My co-workers are kind of lame, christian people who I don't share a lot of interests with. Sometimes I'll hang out in bars when I'm bored but I feel like it's so hard to make connections with people post-college, like people don't want to broaden their social circle. Is it just me?

Is It Normal?
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  • Yeah. Totally normal.

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  • I agree it's hard. I think as you get older it's even harder but nobody told me that before my last move. It sucks.

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  • I was in the same situation when I moved interstate. I am not the sort of person who likes to go to clubs or whatever, or socialise much with strangers. My job doesn't have co while I consider some people I used to work for friends now, it wasn't so much a socialise outside of work thing. I made one actual friend and we hung out, but she had to move back to England and we lost touch. I had a few acquaintances at the gym, but it wasn't like we were going to meet up outside of running into each other at classes - though you might be a different kind of person and that might work for you?

    It didn't really concern me, but it was a tad boring and lonely at the time.

    That being said, now that I've moved back to the city where all my friends live, I don't necessarily see them regularly.

    I think the older we get, the less likely we are to make new friends.

    If it is a source of problems for you, perhaps you could find a local interest/hobby group.

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  • It is always hard to move to a new place and not know anyone. Work people generally aren't cool to chill with. You should try and find some hobbies or groups. Social media groups can be fun to meet people that share an interest in music, or food, or whatever culture. Dating apps are a good way to meet people, even if you dont fall in love you can get locally cultured.

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    • Yeah, I've used dating apps for years, sort of sick of that... Might try MeetUp or something.

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  • It kind of depends where you live but it's pretty normal as far as I can tell. I moved a few months back and only have acquaintances because I've done business with them, or live close by.

    Don't take it personally.

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