Should i try playing the violin again?
I only played for 5 years and although my school orchestra teacher and private music teacher said I was good and had talent, I don't feel I ever was or did, and was maybe mediocre at best. I quit 8 years ago after I suddenly lost all interest (I had recently lost a very close loved one and I think grief did weird things to me).
I never had any desire to play again until the beginning of this year, when I suddenly had a strong urge to try it again. The only thing is, I don't live alone and am very self conscious about my playing, and am not ready to tell anyone if I do start playing again because my family always made a huge deal out of wanting to hear me play and I know they will again, and I don't want an audience at first.
I tried playing while I was home alone a few times and was surprised at how much I remembered, but also frustrated with myself that I wasn't perfect and in my eyes, have a lot of room for improvement before I could ever be confident again.
I'm currently looking at buying my first house and so don't have a lot of extra money to buy new strings for my violin, rehair my bow, take lessons, etc. right now.
Part of me thinks it would be nice to get back into it, but I'm not sure if right now is not a good time or it's something I should just leave in the past.