Should I force myself to be outgoing or accept being an introvert

I’m 20 years old and a male, I’m very introverted and get very exhausted and overwhelmed with social outings and keeping up with friends. I’ve tried for years to be more outgoing but it just really seems to not be my thing.

I’ve tried joining clubs for things I’m interested in, and I play hockey on my University team, but the parties and get togethers just aren’t for me. I don’t date, I’ll hook up with chicks every once in a while but I can’t keep a relationship, I don’t have the energy or desire for it.

I’m described as the jock type, I really enjoy my sport and focus a lot on it and see my team as coworkers more than a social group. I also don’t have much of a personality, so when I do talk to people I come off as blunt or serious. I’m not very smart either.

I’m not happy when I try to be outgoing. But I feel like it’s important for me to have more friends and hold down relationships. I don’t like having more than 4 friends at a time.

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  • Being "social" is a muscle that has to be trained like any other. Sure there are some more naturally gifted than you are, but that is no excuse to stay weak.

    "I’m described as the jock type, I really enjoy my sport and focus a lot on it and see my team as coworkers more than a social group."

    Unless you're headed to Tokyo in 2020 for the olympics, you're doing sports wrong. It is 100x more rewarding to win with a group of friends vs a group of associates. If you want to start building friendships, focus on your teammates and put forth some real effort.

    Go out, especially during those times you don't want to. You'll start to realize that you'll rarely regret it.

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  • Been a lone wolf for decades. No regrets yet. We are immersed in an ocean of idiots drowning in a sea of buffoonery. Great fun to stand to the side and observe the fools.

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  • I don't think you are abnormal. You sound kind of like my hubby and I. We are not social. He has his online gaming community and I'm just exhausted all the time and my children consume my entire life. The only difference between us and you is that we are in our 30s and you're 20.
    It sounds like you think you SHOULD be more social, but you don't know how. It seems forced. If it is that way, why push it? That's what I think anyway. Let stuff happen naturally. Don't force yourself to go out and form and maintain tons of friendships that you really don't want to. But in my opinion don't be a recluse, either. Hope that helps.

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  • 4 Good close friends is plenty

    Who says you need 1000?!!?

    You hang out with your 4 friends right? It sounds like you could be already social or somewhat social.

    You dont have to go to parties every night to be social.

    Theres being social, and then theres being REALLY social.

    Social is good. You dont need to shoot for the stars if you dont want to lol

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  • You are who you are.

    Some people are gregarious. Some are terrified of their own shadows, the vast majority are somewhere in between.

    If you aren't happy with an aspect your life & it is within your power to do so, change it.

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  • If you feel like your shyness is interfering with your life and stopping you from doing/acheiving certain things then it could be social anxiety and you could see a therapist. If you don't feel like it's an issue then just do what makes you happy and comfortable. But I think the fact that you are asking this means you have a desire to change this part of yourself, so therapy could be something to look into.

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