People pleaser or standing up for yourself is like a double-edged sword

I was also taken advantage of, had bad friends, stayed in bad relationships too long because I didn't want to hurt the guy's feelings, and more. Life is better now, no worries, but I'll share how I overcame it.

I learned to read people better. Psychology helped me a lot, because I use to wholeheartedly believed in the "Golden Rule," and nothing else, but then I become shocked that no matter how helping I am to those I care about and love seeing them smile; when I need help they vanished or tell me to help myself. This came from "friends", some family, exes, etc. Later I became bitter to the point when fake friends tells me, "You're such a nice person, you're special/a unicorn/etc," I'll snap back with, "Yeah, but how come I don't have anyone willing to do the same for me?" They just go quiet and leave.

When I started diving deep into the mystery of people's behaviors, I started to pick up on traits, body language, hidden speech, and more when I meet people. It's amazing how bad people share A LOT of the same traits and habits. For example:

1. Bad people have this air of superiority and pretentiousness, which makes them unable to respect your ideas or perspective because you're simply too nice/innocent/pure/naive/etc in their eyes. You're automatically labeled as inexperienced and stupid because you care about those around you.

2. Bad people always think they got you pegged, and assume so much of your personality without even trying to truly get to know you. Ever did something you normally do, and had some asshole go, "Oh... I thought you did this and that. Well, that's surprising."

3. Bad people are horribly opportunistic. Good people do things for others because it feels right to them, and expect no reward. Assholes do things to benefit themselves in some way. So we're constantly being persuaded or manipulated into something they disguised to be good for us.

These are just a few, but you get it. It's all about reading the true meaning of things and being firm on your decisions in your own way. For me, I hate getting angry, so being firm in an aggressive way didn't work due to it leading to arguments. Since I'm female, I've calculated based on all my interactions that most of my troubles will be from male encounters. What do I know about men who make trouble for me? They think I'm stupid for both being a woman and being too nice. So... to counter people like this, I play stupid to the point they can't handle it and leave me alone; because how can they get mad at an "innocent, naive" woman for not understanding their nasty advances or pushy behavior. What am I losing for them walking away? Nothing. What do I gain? Peace of mind. Thanks to psychology, I know who to avoid and how to avoid them peacefully in my own way.

By the way, you don't have to play dumb like I do. It just works for me because I hate fighting and rather talk my way out of things peacefully. It's just something that I do well. Discover your way of doing things.

There’s definitely pros and cons. I’ve always been more of a nice person who sees good in people and loves helping others. I’ve gotten taken advantage of a lot by fake cunts. Now I have very few friends that I trust and am happy that way. I love being myself and being the personality I am but I’ve definitely brought out more bitchy side more times gone on. Which isn’t always amazing.

I’ve stuck up for myself on occasions that I’ve been pushed in to in order see me snap. When I do tell people off they act all scared of me.

I’m a super giving person, making people happy makes me happy. Tho I don’t change myself and don’t care to I still do stick up for myself and tell people off. I’m nice to people but someone pisses me off I don’t take it. I may not know super well how to control my anger cause it takes a lot to truly piss me off so it don’t happen often enough but mainly what I’m getting at is I’m still nice in general but doesn’t mean I’m easy to take advantage of. I may sometimes get pissed off at someone 20 minutes to late tho. I do see pros and cons of both sides. Sometimes I wish my vibe wasn’t so short cute lil welcoming quiet girl but whatever I’ll live with it. Feel bad for the next bitch to try and fuck with me thinking I’m easy tho. Cause ik Ima take that shit to far. I give 0 shits on peoples opinion if I care for someone I show it and if I dislike someone I make it obvious. I’m not easy at reading people but when I see fake in someone I drop them the amount of “friends” I’ve ghosted in my life is ridiculous but I usually will like someone till I got a problem with them.

What you describe you come off as in the first paragraph is the vibe I always give apparently. I wouldn’t give up my niceness and learn to change myself to be a 24/7 bitch. Idk how to change my personality anyway but I’m happy being me I can still be a cunt to someone if they deserve it tho. Sticking up for myself may not look like it’s in my comfort zone but that won’t stop me. If anything I’ve learned to not take shit and see fake in people. But I’m still myself. You can be a sweet person but a bitch at times too. I’ve learned I can still do what my personality is like and enjoy being my normal self but I’m still a bitch at times when needed. I’m a nice bitch.

I’m struggling with this so much! It almost gives me a “confused” feeling, like wow the world is so mean. I’m naturally extremely friendly at events, work, etc. but I notice people take that as a weakness. But I can get down on their level and be just as nasty and it usually surprises them.

Isn't there a middle ground?

Maybe them fucking with you is in your head. Maybe you are getting paranoid and have a schizoaffective disorder or bi polar and now you are just burning bridges and up setting people because YOU believe everyone is out to get you.

Just a thought to consider, usually nice people get treated nicely. I would feel guilty screwing over a nice hearted person, I mean a REAL nice person.