On male attention

39 Comments

So obviously, there are different kinds of romantic/sexual attention: There's the nice and almost platonic kind (looks at you and smiles, tells you you have nice hair), and there's the crude, lustful kind (stares at you like a piece of meat, catcalls you about your rack, tells his buddy 'bitch got some cake' within earshot, something about using you), or something in between (tries to strike up a conversation, flirts).

And what I noticed is that there are three types of women when it comes to their reactions to male attention: 1) The first type are those who get mad at the crudest / most lustful forms of it; 2) the second are those who get mad when it comes from guys they're not into (not their type); 3) and the third are those who just seem to accept it as part of life.

So which one are you, ladies?

Only the nice, clean kind	21
I'm okay with all male attention	10
Not from unattractive guys	5

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Comments ( 39 )

Tealights

4 years ago

The reality of it all is any "extensive" random male attention that's not from a well-known/trusted family member or well-known/trusted friend is sexual. What you list is the different tactics men use to test the water with women. On the other hand, our responses to men vary depending on our personality and how aggressive the man's approach is.

Personally, I feign ignorance and ask obvious questions, which works 96% of the time because majority of them think we're stupid and easily manipulated anyway. For example:

Random man: Oh you looking good girl. You come here often?

Me: Oh thank you!!! You know I got this at Target! Have you been to the target in Blahtown? They have some nice clothes there, way better than the one in Mehtown.

Random man: Uhhhhh... yeah! Well, you pick out some nice... pants.

Sometimes I get some persistent ones who will continue my nonsense, but they underestimate me on how far I can talk about nothing and ask dumb questions.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  Interesting tactic. It's like wearing him down. And I agree that pretty much any random male attention that's not friends or family is sexual at its core. We're just wired that way. And I'm not even sure about friends. That's why the other commenter says she has to constantly remind her male friends to back off, otherwise they'd just fall back into it. That's why I think the genuine male-female friendships can only happen with homosexuals. Though I disagree that a friend would do the sleazy type of advances some stranger douche would, even if he tempted by it.
  
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  - Tealights
    
    4 years ago
    
    Yup, you're exactly right, and it's the only tactic that's been the most effective for me because not only does it wear the guy down, but it gives him a safe out on the whole attempt so he can walk away from me without feeling he failed at life or whatever, and I just become that one dumb girl who just didn't get it (which is fine by me).
    
    As for friends, I simply make myself clear from the start and if he ignores it, the friendship is over. Also, you're right that gay guys make great friends that don't have that sexual tension, but so do happily married men.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      4 years ago
      
      It's nice of you to turn guys down this way, because you really don't have to. I thought you just wanted to fuck with them by doing that, not to protect their feelings.
      
      I'd keep an eye on the married man though. Or rather, his wife should. They don't lose their urges just because they're happy at home. It's a conscious, deliberate ethical decision to decide to remain faithful, not one bound by the state of marriage. It's the more evolved and rational part of your brain telling the most primitive parts to cut the crap and get with the program. Kind of like following a diet.
      
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      - Tealights
        
        4 years ago
        
        Lol I guess that's one way to look at it; I see it as a survival tactic.
        
        As for my married friend, his wife hates me, but I know if I don't intiate anything then our friendship should be fine... hopefully.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        4 years ago
        
        Of course his wife hates you. It's because she knows her husband might get carried away one day and try to get a piece of that (you)!
        
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donteatstuffoffthesidewalk

4 years ago

me walkin down the street to random woman with no intent to stop or give a fuck about her:

'good mornin'

random woman:

'OH MY GOD GET AWAY FROM ME YOU CREEP!!!!!!'

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- Tealights
  
  4 years ago
  
  😆
  
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chrysocolla

4 years ago

Getting catcalled and objectified just happens. It's a part of life. If a dude gets his rocks off staring at my ass then so be it, it's not affecting me in any way.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  Healthy attitude.
  
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leggs91200

4 years ago

Who wants disgusting type attention? that is just wrong.

Ronald Reagan had Altzeimer's towards the end.
He would walk up to women and say, "So, do I come here often?"

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- donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
  
  4 years ago
  
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5wfPlgKFh8
  
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- RoseIsabella
  
  4 years ago
  
  https://youtu.be/ObpcGNCU944
  
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SwickDinging

4 years ago

I'm getting to the age now where people don't look much anyway. If a young builder said I had a nice rack I'd probably reply "don't be so silly". I wouldn't get upset about it though. If someone is rude to me then I'll probably tell them to fuck off, but then I'd just move on with my day.

When I was younger it would upset me, especially if I was alone. Sometimes it feels very threatening to have a group of men shout things like that at you when you're young and alone.

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litelander8

4 years ago

I'm number 3 for sure. When they seem like there going to try and cross the line I say, "Is this how a gentleman behaves?" Or something along those lines. Dudes just need to be reminded not to be the pigs that they are.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  Wouldn't it be simpler to just ignore it? I mean, if men are pigs anyway, why not let them express their lust passingly, with a line or a stare, so long as it doesn't get physical.
  
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  - litelander8
    
    4 years ago
    
    I never let it get physical. I still want friends! Lol. Guys just need a reminder. It doesn't bother me.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      4 years ago
      
      I guess "is this how a gentleman behaves?" isn't the worst of punishments. "Damn dat ass" is certainly not a gentlemanly thing to say.
      
      Not sure I understand the "want friends" part.
      
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      - litelander8
        
        4 years ago
        
        Some guys are still fun to hang with.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        4 years ago
        
        Yeah, of course the guy who ogles out and catcalls dees hoes is fun. But what if you're not? I mean, if you get all moralistic "men are pigs" and "act like a gentleman" on the dudes, then you're basically feminist-minded. You have that sense of dignity. And that's just not fun. In which case, what's in it for the guy in question? There's no tits, and there's feminism to boot?!
        
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- Doesnormalmatter
  
  4 years ago
  
  Men are pigs? You sound like those blue haired extreme feminist SJW's with the pussy hats that steven crowder makes fun of! Thanks for the laugh!
  
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  - litelander8
    
    4 years ago
    
    Very good judge of character! (Nawt)
    
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    - Doesnormalmatter
      
      4 years ago
      
      Okay then, take it back or elaborate. I did say, you sound like, not you ARE one of them.
      
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      - litelander8
        
        4 years ago
        
        fuck off. I can say whatever I please.
        
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        Doesnormalmatter
        
        4 years ago
        
        So can I....so what makes men pigs? Are all men pigs? No exceptions? What behaviors or personality traits make someone a pig? Assuming you don't mean literal oinking pigs.
        
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curious-bunny

4 years ago

I'm 21 now and spent the first 19 years invisible to society do I can never tell if a guy is interested in me or not till after the fact. Nor do I really know how to flirt cause you know life. I guess I would just roll with it though. Getting mad doesnt do any good

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  Flirting is more the guy's job. At least initiating it. So I don't think there's much you can do about it. Some guys are just more timid and subtle than others, and may not be too explicit or expressive in showing their interest. But if he's out-of-the-blue spending time with you, without really needing you for something specific, then chances are he wants to get it on.
  
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  - curious-bunny
    
    4 years ago
    
    That's true. I wish men were more obvious about there interest though. That and I wish they understood I'm not being a bitch I'm actually interested just dont know how to show it haha
    
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    - Tealights
      
      4 years ago
      
      That's the thing about men, they won't openly ask you out unless they know they have a 100% chance of you saying yes. Otherwise, they randomly talk to you and pretend to be interested in whatever you're doing or talking about to see what chances they have; but it's confusing to those of us who dont play the flirting game or want to be straightforward.
      
      It all boils down to a fear of rejection. Most men hate the word no, which is somewhat scary because all it demonstrates is our freedom of will to choose our mate based on what we find important no matter how trivial it may seem.
      
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      - curious-bunny
        
        4 years ago
        
        That's very true. The whole flirting game is very frustrating. Only 3 guys have ever been straight up to me in person but I had a boyfriend already.
        
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RoseIsabella

4 years ago

I'm only interested in platonic friendship. I don't care for inappropriate attention from anyone, and especially not from those I do not deem attractive by my own personal standards. Even from someone I would normally find attractive crude attention is still crude attention, and I don't care for it. Regardless, the only attention that I really care for is that which is respectful! The nasty ones can drop dead for all I care, to me they are just a waste of space.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  Fair enough.
  
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  - RoseIsabella
    
    4 years ago
    
    Thanks.
    
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mauzi

4 years ago

3rd one outwardly, internally a combination of 1&2 (not really mad tho more like repulsed), since i'm not into most guys especially if they are like that. I've gotten all those kinds of undesired advances, I just laugh it off and continue on with my life.

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On male attention