On a scale of weird al yankovic to eminem, how white are you?

I'm Early from Squidbillies white.

I'm so white that when my dad went to the store to buy milk, he bought milk and came back home 20 minutes later.
I'm so white I got a degree and a job, eventually got promoted and made more money.
I'm so white I don't even listen to... *bleh* rap.
I'm so white that I can tuck my shirt into my pants and wear a belt to keep my pants up.

I'm white and nerdy.

i hunt squirrels with my dawg

I chose Weird Al because I'm "white" to the point of loving L.E.J from France, French culture, Roman lifestyles, also classical music, that makes me a vanilla, although as a baby I was pretty black, listening to Bobby McFerrin's don't worry be happy, and reggae music, but I whitened myself with learning square dancing in high school and enjoying westerns and cowboys.

Snow in the sun. My skin could give you snow blindness.