Ocd and guilt while gaming?

I'm not sure whether you'd call this OCD or a guilt complex.

I was playing a game, I can't remember which game exactly. Then some weird glitch happened that skipped me past a barrier or wiped out all the enemies, allowing me to complete the level way faster than I otherwise would've. As cool as it was, I decided to load up the game and replay the level since I didn't think it was a fair way to finish the level. I wouldn't have felt honest about it, I wanted to beat the level the proper way.

A little while after another glitch happened that gave me a similar advantage, although not half as much of an advantage this time. But I decided to replay the level again anyway, with the same reason as before. I felt better being strict with myself.

Slowly but surely, the severity of the glitch and the advantage it afforded me, needed to trigger my OCD into replaying the level, grew less and less.

Now if the slightest glitch, or even just some strange thing, happens in the game, I feel guilted into replaying that level, even if it doesn't offer me any advantage. My OCD nags me, hinting that maybe I wouldn't have gotten past that area quite as smoothly without that glitch, and that I should replay it just to be sure.

Sometimes I'll take a break from gaming for a few months, not because of the OCD, just because I do that anyway. And then when I come back to it, the OCD seems to be gone. But gradually it starts to come back, growing larger and larger until the guilt is overwhelming. It completely ruins my enjoyment of the game and paralyses my progress because I end up replaying each level more and more times.

Is It Normal?
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  • I don't know if I should vote for normal or not as though it probably isn't common its something I feel a lot.

    Whether its a game or a movie, Its like I have to watch the whole thing in a "honest" way? I contemplate for hours if I should look through walkthroughs as doing that would be "dishonest". And if I pass a level from a bug or just general good luck I have to do it again because I didn't finish the level with my own skills. Even if a movie is boring I cannot skip, I'm not allowed to skip because then its "dishonest". Same with albums, same with anything. I have to have that pure experience which is super weird but I have OCD as well so I assume that's where that comes from. So I totally relate man.

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    • Wow I wasn't expecting anyone to have similar thoughts. The way you use the word "dishonest" definitely strikes a chord with me, I feel like I'm cheating even though I haven't used any cheats.

      I've actually thought of giving speedrunning a go since you're actually encouraged to take advantage of glitches in that, so that might help me get over coming across glitches in regular gaming. My OCD might manifest in another way then though, by becoming too much of a perfectionist about it.

      I didn't mention movies or anything else, but I do the same with documentaries alright. I feel like I have to pay extra attention to every little detail, and rewind if I miss even a single word. Otherwise I feel guilty saying that I've watched it, as if I'm lying. It's the same with books too, I can get to the stage where I'm reading every sentence at least twice.

      Thanks for replying, it's nice at least to know that I'm not alone with it.

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      • np, it was honestly relieving for me to know I wasn't alone either. I've been just trying to tell my self that in the end, I'm in control of my actions and that in the end, it doesn't matter the specifics rn. I sometimes think "in 2 years time will I even remember this" and it kinda helps. Hopefully, that helps and if it gets really serious it might be worth seeing a professional about it.
        Cheers!

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        • That's good to know.

          That does sound like some great advice alright, I'll try to remember that.

          Thanks for replying again, it was nice talking to you about this. And good luck with your ocd, I hope you overcome it one day. :)

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