Need some advice on how to act

So, she (21) broke up with me (22) 3 months ago because of the typical "my feelings aren't the same anymore" (we were almost 3 years together, both our first real relationship, so yeah ofcourse those feelings lessen it is part of a relationship but yeah it is the first time so it confused her i guess ? ). This started after some of her friends booked a trip to Namibia without asking her with. This really hurted her and one of her friends also told her afterwards "i didn't ask you because u would certainly do a vacation with your boyfriend". Note: I am also friends with her good friends and we don't have any issues, second note: this was all after the covid and it was really difficult for my ex because her friends didn't respect the rules of safety and minimal contact and because of that my ex couldn't risk to meet with them a lot. And those friends didn't like her for that. My ex then started to rekindle the friendships once covid was over and she was the one who suggested to do a trip all together but yeah they did it without inviting her... It was a bomb for her. We then had exams and a seperate family holiday so we didn't see each other for 10 weeks but had online contact and facetimes. Then she came home with covid, + 2 weeks of not seeing each other and after that i felt she wasn't feeling well about herself. She had troubles with what those "friends" did + she had a lot of stress because of our uni work and grades. One month later she broke up with the words "My feelings lessened, i am doubting. I don't want to make the biggest mistake of my life but i think we need to break up because i need time for myself and focus on the studies and find what i want in my life."
This was very difficult for me because our relationship was great and she also told me on several times after the breakup that nothing was wrong with me or our relationship. She was the problem she said...
At first we kept in contact (3-4 times a week on text), to be friends. But yeah after a couple of weeks i felt that it was mentally too much for me, so i asked for some distance and to not contact me anymore for a certain period. Now i can say that after 3 months my romantic feelings are lessened (not completely gone but I am okay with it and feel ready), I still have a lot of love for her as a person. Because we really came along on a great manner and never had big issues between us.
So yeah, I feel ready to be friends now and am not chasing a relationship with her anymore. So i started recontact 2 weeks ago. She answered normally. At first it was quite extensive. Talking about the studies etc. We are also our in exam period again now so also both really busy. She sometimes initated the contact herself but now 3 days ago we had a test and i asked how it went and she answered and i texted back and started talking about something funny and relevant i heard but she just left it on read and since then there is no contact anymore. I felt in the 2 days before that she was being a bit hot and cold (sending some pictures on which i responded on but then again left on read ...).
So yeah i don't really know what to do now. I had the idea to meet up after our exams to catch up physically and try to make this being friends thing work but if the contact just disappears now it doesn't really make a lot of sense to meet up.
Is it best to now let it rest a bit and wait till she contacts again? (as she knows (i hope, i literally said it but yeah u never know haha) i am ready now, but maybe she doesn't feel ready?) Or should i keep texting every 3-4-5 days?

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Comments ( 7 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • As the saying goes, "you can't go home again". Just move on, find a new girlfriend and make a new life for yourself. I don't see a future with your ex.

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  • Irrelevant info, but just wanted to say that I'm Namibian. Our country is a beautiful place. Visit us someday!

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  • Just make sure you text less than her. Its gonna be hard to do but when someone thinks you want them and they dont want you its a turn off ane they like you less. People want what they cant have. Dont come off as deperate or like you want her.

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  • Too long to read bro

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  • Thank you for the comment. I already thought this but just didn't want to make the mistake of "not having tried enough". But yeah think i was very clear to her and did initiate the contact several times on which she always responded but the last 2 days she only responded once and didn't respond anymore on what i answered to her. So yeah now it is already 4 days of radio silece haha, pity

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  • If she stops responding it's on her and you probably need to let her go completely. If she stops responding, don't keep trying. Just leave her be until she decides to respond again. If you're already doing what you can to remain friends, it's up to her if she wants to reciprocate.

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