My son is pretending to be depressed

Be careful with this. My parents never understood my depression because I was provided with everything as a teenager but the fact is that I was deeply unhappy with myself and the world. It came from being very happy and imaginative as a small boy and then growing to realise the harsh realities of the world and that it wasn't this grand magical place I had believed it to be. This later lead me on a course to illicit drug addiction.
Anyway, yeah go to a therapist by all means but please, listen to your son without the comparisons, preconceptions and your own ideas about his generation as a whole.

The therapist will know if the depression is fake. But if it isn't real (or his understanding of what depresion actually is, is wrong)
and he really feels a need to 'pretend' to be depressed, it's a sign that he doesn't feel calling long-term unhappiness what it is will be enough to secure the emotional support he needs. That he's not 'deserving' unless it's serious. This is sad. Whatever the long-term problem is, it's a problem, and it needs to be seen to because it could well get worse and be even harder to treat then.

Don't invalidate his pain: teenage years are very hard for many. Yes coddle culture is bad news but you're not just anyone, you're his mother and he needs your support. Listen to your son. Give him what he needs to feel secure in his world while he's trying to figure out who he is. Then when he is a healthy functioning adult he will thank you.

Teenagers do tend to feel like nobody understands them and I know that can seem silly from an outside perspective. But it sounds to me like you don't want to understand him either. You don't trust him and you don't believe he's depressed. I'd get that if he was just a lazy slob, but you say he's doing well in school and has social contacts. So there's no real reason for him to fake anything. Going to therapy sucks, why would you want to do that if you didn't think you need it.
Look, when I was a teenager I was often sad too and I didn't really talk to anyone. I sure as hell couldn't talk about feelings to my friends - You know how young men are. But my dad helped me a lot just by being there for me and taking me serioussly. And eventhough I didn't talk directly about my problems he shared a lot of his own memories from when he was a kid, and that let me know that it's okay and normal to feel like that. You're not helping your son by telling him how lucky he is or how much harder you had it, that'll just push him away. If you want him to open up about his feelings and get over his pride then that's exactly what you'll need to do first.

I did this too, to a large extent. It was the only way I could get away from high school. Public schools in general are basically a prison for kids. Those who don't appreciate sitting around for 7 hours a day up from dawn and hearing propaganda and boring repetitious arithmetic and language facts, there's something wrong with em! Definitely. Especially the boys. If boys want to go outside or play with legos or make paper airplanes, there's something wrong with em. So you give em drugs to make em more like the girls, whose socialization is a little more advanced.

I'm still on those medications. Now I am physiologically dependent on them. Score 1 for big pharma!!

Anyway, yeah, it's quite possible he's exaggerating his angst, but you should respond by giving him more freedom to choose what he can do with his days instead of demanding more concessions. He WILL end up like me. And I've been on this fucking site for 11 years. You don't want that to happen.

Seriously. If he IS lying, he is more fucked up. If he ISN'T lying he's depressed. EITHER WAY...HE NEEDS HELP you foolish woman. Christian camp ??? Seriously....this has to be a troll. And i hate calling people trolls btw.

It may be teenage angst, it may be something more. Depression doesn't always present as a severe case, often it can present simply as feeling numb, unmotivated, unwilling to go out and do the things that used to make a person happy.

You shouldn't look at it as you failing as a parent or him not being satisfied enough with his circumstance, sometimes even the most successful and normal seeming people suffer depression, it's a chemical imbalance. Look at Robin Williams if you want a great real world example - you can have it all and still suffer mental illness.

Wow lady, I don't even know how to respond to not only your original post but all the head scratching comments from you that followed. Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain, a mentail illness.... It it not (though it can be) only a direct result of having a "hard" life or whatever it is that you believe it to be. Have you read out loud what you've wrote back to yourself? Someone, not just anyone, your son is reaching out and admitting he's depressed and you're telling him he's not....?!? How do you know? Robin Williams, Chester Bennington, Junior Sean, Chris Cornell.... wealthy, famous, and well loved individuals who have all taken their own lives because of a battle with depression. And Idk about you, but when I watched a Robin Williams movie, or watched a Linkin Park video or show, I wasn't thinking "man does he look depressed". Seriously mam, if you're not going to help your son then please find him someone who can.

Your key phrase was 'I have never suffered with depression'. It can happen to anyone at any age. Believe him if he's saying he's depressed and get him to a therapist. Not believing him will make him feel like shit. If his neurons are not firing up correctly then this needs to be fixed like diabetes, thyroid or any other medical condition. If it's not that then he needs someone to at least listen to him.

Coming from someone who has struggled with depression their entire life, PLEASE listen to your son and also take the time to educate yourself about what depression really is and can do to a person. It is a horrible illness that I wouldn't want anyone to have. Your son NEEDS YOUR SUPPORT!! Or, you can ignore all of us that are trying to tell you this and maybe one day you'll wake up to find your son hanging in his closet, or wrists slashed open bleeding all over the place. Depression is no joke. Please, be a good mother and help him!

The person who posted this only pays attention to the comments that agree with her.

Heres what i have to say

He COULD be pretending, but why should he?
My Mother always thought that I pretended and it made me feel worse for feeling and thinking like i do, because I WAS feeling terrible and She wouldn't help or believe me. It might seem like he is lying about it from an outside prospective, but You CAN'T really walk a mile in his shoes because you can't be him therefore you can't know if he is Depressed.
Having an "easier" life doesn't mean you are happy. You CAN feel happiness when you are depressed. Like getting a puppy or something. But when you, in your mind, think you are nothing in the world and then People tell you, "Get over it little brat, you have lots more than I ever had and More than most of the world has..", It can make you feel like shit because you feel like you are an ungrateful Brat and it feels like you are more worthless. P

At least read through all the comments if you are going to ask something to all the people. You might just want to pay attention to the people who agree with you because you want the "back up" and "word from other people" that you think you need to show your son.
As for medication, have you ever heard of the placebo effect?
Heres an example from many examples;
Lets say somebody with Depression asks for medication to "help" with depression. The doctor or whoever then gives them "fake meds" that dont do anything but since, especially, depression is a Mental illness, your brain can THINK that the meds are helping and so it WILL help with the Crippling depression.
This is for people with REAL diseases or illnesses and this works so just try it. If he really IS faking it, you in the end didnt give him the dreaded meds and if he isnt faking his brain will think he is getting help and he will feel support from you.

In the end, be the parent that helps their kids but, make sure you do it the smart way and not just tend to their every want.

|-/

I really hope this is a troll.

You know your son better than these internet saps do, so ignore their over-medicated, cat lady advice.

Have you and your son watch this video:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_uuRtx_BCjQ

Your son is miserable BECAUSE he has no responsibility. A carefree life is a meaningless one, make no mistake.

Speak to a healthcare professional & see if they would be prepared to try a placebo. A lot of this sounds like typical teenage angst. If you are of the opinion that the therapist isn't working stop taking him.

Why isn't he going out?
Is he being bullied?
Is he being put under undue pressure at school/college?

If he is experiencing a better, more comfortable childhood than you had you deserve to be proud of yourself as your hard has paid dividends. When he matures he will/should appreciate your sacrifices. Encourage him to play a more active role within the home (not just the shitty chores), ask for his opinion on household decisions,
Encourage him to find some gainful employment as he will experience some independence, learn the value of money, a work ethic & realise how life really is.

I know some people who I met who grew up rich, got everything they ever wanted - good grades, family, friends but are suffering from depression.

Sadness and depression are two different things. Sadness is a normal human emotion. Depression abnormally makes a person feel sad about everything. Some people who are depressed don't even know they're suffering from it, they just assume that they're just lonely at the moment.

You're son mustve felt that something's wrong. He probably needs help and he's asking you for some. If you dont trust your therapist, i suggest that you should see another one or a psychologist. Better safe than sorry.

i don't think your attitude is helping

Sometimes depression is caused by inbalance of chemicals in ur brain. He doesn't have a reason to be depressed but he just is.

Not all depressed people stay in bed all day and are not productive..some could be doing good in school and have a social life too. Plus its mostly a brain chemical thing so it doesn't matter if he has a privileged life.. your son probably has mild or moderate depression. But l agree that meds will be damaging in the long run, hope you find a better way to deal with it..good luck.. oh and btw church won't help, especially if he already realized religion is just a bunch of BS..

Not really.
Teenage kids just like to be "emo"
Nowadays it's cool to be dark and depressed.

Being a mother is probably one of the hardiest jobs so i don't blame you for doing what you're doing and i don't want to say you don't understand you're son because i don't know you or him but i do know what depression is like and how sometimes you just feel sad for seemingly no reason most people that are depressed fake happiness so try to talk with you're son to see whats wrong him being a teenager there's a chance he won't spill everything or not even say anything at all but you got to understand its probably awkward for him but you need to let him know you're there for him and will try to help you also need to make sure he knows he matters and is loved because most people that are depressed and can't get help or feel that they can't they can turn to cutting or drugs or even worse suicide not saying you're son will do that but even if theres a small chance... I speak from personal experience so you can choose to listen to me or not but i do know what will happen if you won't be there for him... Try to spend time with him look into some of his hobbies for you guys to do together and try not to get angry with him if he seems uninterested or doesn't want to do anything its important not to push him into anything but it also doesn't hurt to check up on him and suggest something every once in a while ask him if he wants to help you make dinner or watch tv together anything would work really as long as you spend time together and make sure its something HE would also want to do and also don't say you understand what he's going threw you said it yourself you never had depression and its frustrating to some when someone says that when they really don't know what it's like so just listen and do all that you can i hoped this was some help~