My partners twin is ruining my relationship

21% Normal

My boyfriend has a twin brother who we let live with us when he had no place to live, he is such a leech of a human being and he barely does anything to contribute other than paying a 3rd of the rent, he leaves his room a mess and tried to tell me I can't do certain things on my own property, he never leaves me and my boyfriend alone and always wants to be around us and my boyfriend doesn't have the guts to tell him to back off and give us space because he doesn't want to upset him, what can I do? My partner wont even listen when I try to tell him I want his brother out of our home because of all the drama he's creating and it's starting to feel like my boyfriend doesn't want to address the issue at all

Voting Results

21% Normal

Based on 14 votes (3 yes)

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Comments ( 25 )

Boojum

3 years ago

It sounds like there's a weird power dynamic between the twins. Who knows where that comes from, but you're in the middle of it, and that can't be fun.

It also sounds like neither of the guys is very mature, and as far as your boyfriend is concerned, keeping on the good side of his brother is much more important than you being happy.

Maybe your boyfriend hasn't yet grown up enough to see the need for him to detach from his family sufficiently for there to be space in his life for a real, adult, live-in relationship with a woman, or maybe he just doesn't respect you or care about you enough to want to make that change.

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- SkullsNRoses
  
  3 years ago
  
  “he just doesn't respect you or care about you enough to want to make that change.”
  
  I highly suspect you’re right there. He clearly sees you as a distant second to his overbearing brother. Tell him if he wants to spend all his time with his brother being the sub to his dom then he can. In their own house. Alone.
  
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  - raisinbran
    
    3 years ago
    
    Disagree with you both, family comes first. She should leave instead of trying to drive a wedge between brothers.
    
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    - SkullsNRoses
      
      3 years ago
      
      Setting reasonable boundaries, such as having time to themselves, should not drive a wedge between relatives. If it does their relationships isn’t healthy.
      
      The brother here sounds overbearing and regardless of whether the boyfriend stays with OP he needs to stop allowing him to control his life. I agree that family should get a bit more leeway than other people but being related to someone isn’t a free pass to treat them however you want.
      
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Taka

3 years ago

Gotta agree with the others. If he doesn't listen to you, then you probably should consider leaving.

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litelander8

3 years ago

Tough. You’re gonna have to be honest. Consider telling him you’ll move out and he can decide whether he wants to continue the relationship.

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Whatintarnation

3 years ago

Yeah. It's ultimatum time. Me or the leach.

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clitoriajustice

3 years ago

that is an uncomfortable position to be put in and your boyfriend should have helped you out. maybe you should take it upon yourself to talk to his brother even though you shouldn't have to. you should also talk to your boyfriend about this because in this way he's not being supportive of you.
you could also try getting your boyfriend to be there when you talk to him or suggest that both you and your boyfriend talk to him.

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SmokeEverything

3 years ago

You gotta be careful because if they're twins his brother is 100% going to try to have sex with you pretending to be your bf. Be careful, he might of done it already.

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- Mizlead
  
  3 years ago
  
  I can tell the difference, why do people always assume people can't tell the difference between twins? Like there are distinct differences like they're voices are different and they don't even dress the same
  
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  - SmokeEverything
    
    3 years ago
    
    People can change clothes and try to disguise their voices.
    
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    - Mizlead
      
      3 years ago
      
      Yeah but let's be real here, I've been with my partner for 5 years and for the last year his brother has been living with us, I know the difference because they also have certain features on their face that I can differentiate so yeah that's not something I'm worried about
      
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      - SmokeEverything
        
        3 years ago
        
        Good, you sound like you're prepared then.
        
        I'm just trying to advise you to watch out. Sketchers be sketching. Be aware of you surroundings and stay safe fam.
        
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Mizlead

3 years ago

No, I can tell the difference between them anyway as their voices are much different in tone

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bigbudchonga

3 years ago

Is he an identical twin?

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- Mizlead
  
  3 years ago
  
  Yes
  
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  - bigbudchonga
    
    3 years ago
    
    They probably have a super close bond. It's going to be hard for you to get him to get rid of his twin. Also, have you thought that maybe the twins partly jealous, and that's why he's doing some of these things?
    
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Meowypowers

3 years ago

They might have a certain bond that will exist forever between them it seems. You may need to assert yourself and your importance with your partner. I think he won't choose you. And he shouldn't. And you shouldn't. You should find someone else, because he will never give up that fam, and you likely need someone that is more into you.

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McSorley

3 years ago

I'm with everyone else on this. Him or you. But just be warned: twins have a strange connection, so don't be surprised if your boyfriend dumps you.

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FromTheSouthWeirdMan

3 years ago

Do you own the house or are you renting

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- Mizlead
  
  3 years ago
  
  I'm renting but his name isn't on the house
  
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  - FromTheSouthWeirdMan
    
    3 years ago
    
    Yeah you could do it that way probably. Ive heard that once you are evicted you have 30 days to leave regardless of the circumstances. If he is living there he doesnt have to leave right away. The laws protecting ppl like that are madness. Id look into that tho. Tell his bro you are evicting him.
    
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    - SmokeEverything
      
      3 years ago
      
      Its different if they pay rent. But im pretty sure it's actually harder to evict someone squatting in your living space than to get them out of an abandoned building
      
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      - FromTheSouthWeirdMan
        
        3 years ago
        
        If they arent on the lease it doesnt matter what they paid. She and her fiance signed the lease for them to live there. Thats why renters make u sign leases so this can be solved
        
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missywishy

3 years ago

Pack his bags outside, and if he doesn’t listen to you, kick him out. It’s your house.

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My partners twin is ruining my relationship