My mother never had a job but she's pushing me into med school?

She's lazy, never worked, doesn't cook or clean as we've always had a nanny that did everything. She just goes on vacation after vacation and gets pampered nails hair massages.

Yet she is pushing me to med school. I've already started my degree and it's not what I want but when I tell her that she gets really angry with me and says I'm wasting my intelligence if I don't go to med school. I also already hold a full time job and have been working since I was 16 but she's never worked and here I am working and going to university and I don't want to be a doctor, it's just not what I want.

I tried so many times and she puts me down saying I will fail in life if I don't become a doctor and that I'm not her child if I stop going to university. When I say you don't even work and never had a job she says I am a mother that's already a job I don't need a job but you do

I don't know what to do I'm depressed. Is this normal?

Voting Results
32% Normal
Based on 19 votes (6 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 27 )
  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk

    this sounds like the urban legend about the asian person with the overbearin parent who graduates med school gits the diploma hands it to the overbearin parent and says 'here i got this now fuck you ill never speak to you again'

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Somenormie

    OP, you should be able to do what you want.

    You shouldn't have to go through this.

    I'm upset that someone had to make you do that.

    Us human beings should have our choices in life not someone doing it for us.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • bigbudchonga

    Become a mother lol. Flip the table on her.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • SmokeEverything

    I have a multi-step solution that can be applied to this exact situation

    1) Stop showering
    2) Buy a banjo or some other hillbilly instrument and learn how to play it
    3) Dreadlocks
    4) Run away from home and be a shitty folk punk kid
    5) Never go back home or else you're a fucking oogle

    That'll really show that bitch.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • chuy

    she wants you to be more successfull

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • a-curious-bunny

    Do what you want to do. Not what she wants. Thats the key to happiness

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • SwickDinging

    It's really not fair for her to push you into something you don't want to do. For the record, though, she may just be doing this because she feels that she wasted her own intelligence and doesn't want you to make the same mistakes. Sometimes parents do the wrong things for the right reasons, if you get what I mean - A bit like how teen mothers so often ban their daughters from having a boyfriend or having sex, and everyone calls them a hypocrite... it's not the right way to go about things, sure, but they're only doing it because they're terrified that their daughter will end up having to go through what they went through. Well meaning but very misguided parenting.

    Anyway, none of this excuses it. She's behaving like an asshole. You don't have to go to med school just because she says so. Stick to your guns. The worst she can do is cut you off financially. Be prepared for this eventuality. This way, she loses all her power over you.

    What's your plan? What will you do instead of med school? Perhaps if she sees you working towards your goal, she will relent a bit.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • apegiggles

    It is more than normal to feel depressed in such a depressing situation where you feel trapped. If I were you, I'd put as much money aside as possible from working. Get enough money to go on your own if your mom won't budge on you going to med school. She shouldn't be treating you like this, but the only way you can get to do what you want might require you being able to support yourself if she ever decides to cut you off. It might be tempting to call her out on her own bullshit, but if you stir the pot too much with someone particularly egocentric you might end up kicked out before you are ready. Good luck!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • CapriSun

    Unfortunately I don't think this is that uncommon. But, if you don't want to go to med school don't. It's your life so you should put yourself first if you think doing something else will genuinely make you happier, if she isn't understanding about it she obviously doesn't care deeply about what's best for you anyways. I was neglected and raised by two narcissistic parents, so I can resonate with parts of your story. Society falsely idealizes unconditionally always putting your parents on a pedistal for everything and expecting/ loving them no matter what. That's bullshit, if you're parents make you unhappy and don't care about your desires cut them off. Or be brutally honest about what you want to do and if they have a problem with it fuck them. I'm not saying you shouldn't love your parents but don't feel bad for turning the other cheek. Life is short and you need to do what you want to do and stop putting effort into things you don't care about. Period. Plus, there's plenty of "intelligent" careers out there.... your parent sounds like she fears looking bad because she didn't raise you and so she wants to look like mom of the universe for having a kid that goes to med school. That's exactly how my mom is. And it makes literally no sense, all it is is a disingenuous burden to fuel their narcissism.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • nopurpose

    She must be very pretty if she puts all her time and effort into beauty..

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • CapriSun

      that's the only thing you got out of this? Lol.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • nopurpose

        Everyone takes what matters to them..

        Comment Hidden ( show )
  • SkullsNRoses

    Forget your mother’s opinion for a second, if you quit med school what’s your plan?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • kelili

    Being a mum is a full-time job, I agree. Are there other area of studies that you are interested into? If you are not happy about what you are doing you should not do it even if it means disappointing your mother.
    Remember that you are the one who will be living with your choices for the rest of your life. She can pressure you into doing it but she cannot force you to do it. It's your choice. Think about how you picture yourself in 10 years and move forward this goal.
    Goodluck!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • Inkmaster

      Being a mom is a full-time job, but only if you're actually there to raise your kids. OP's mom never actually raised them and just hired nannies.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
  • litelander8

    None of these things are a reason for “depression”.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • Inkmaster

      Being unhappy with your life isn't a reason for depression? Having a parent tell you that you're not their kid if you don't follow a certain career path isn't a reason for depression?

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • litelander8

        Unhappy bc you’re mom wants you to do well in life...?

        Comment Hidden ( show )
          -
        • RoseIsabella

          OP's mother is domineering, and manipulative is what she is.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
            -
          • litelander8

            But she hasn’t manipulated anything. OP refuses. It’s just a parents banter.

            Comment Hidden ( show )
              -
            • Inkmaster

              Saying that you're not their child unless you follow a certain career path isn't banter, it's psychological abuse and absolutely manipulation.

              Comment Hidden ( show )
            • RoseIsabella

              Threatening to disown someone if they don't do what you want is indeed manipulation.

              I actually know a woman who had an abortion, because he mother threatened to disown her! She's been messed up for years, and her elderly, manipulative, gaslighting queen of a mother is just fine as far I know.

              Comment Hidden ( show )
            • hauntedbysandwiches

              Bro... 🙄🙄

              Comment Hidden ( show )
        • Gameofthrones288

          🤨

          Comment Hidden ( show )