My family thinks my add is a joke

Ive recently had it confirmed that I have ADHD( less H more attention deficit).
Ive always suspected...but my mom and even my husband does not take it seriously. My mom thinks its not real and Im just ditzy and lazy...my husband seems to think its amusing. He always says Im childish and have no attention span and yuks about it all the time. He treats me like s child at times.
Btw I have a job and am not a total failure, I just always lose things and cant finish products and am fidgety. I also need help budgeting checkbook have panic attacks. It affects me in anxiety form. Is it normal for people to minimize something thats a big deal to me?

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 22 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • People tend to see those with mental health problems as a whole different species and don’t usually associate them with people with personalities, so it might seem off that you, a seemingly normal person, could have ADHD. However, don’t use a mental disorder as an excuse to not fix problems that negatively affect you.

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  • Sadly this is normal. People react very strangely to these kind of problems. They say things like "they didn't have ADHD in my day, kids behaved themselves or got a beating!". Imagine someone saying something like this about a physical illness...

    I would say just ignore people who don't take it seriously but we're talking about your husband here. That's not good. You need to make sure he understands this properly and explain to him what he needs to do to be supportive. If he isn't prepared to make the effort to help you deal with this then you have a big problem in your marriage. Don't put up with him being shitty to you.

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    • I appreciate the comment.
      My doctor said its more about how your brain is wired, chemicals and transmitters. Telling an ADHD person to " just calm down/ just focus" is like telling someone with dementia to "just focus hard and remember things".

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  • Maybe a little sit down chat about how serious of an issue this is "to you" would be the sobering moment to have with both your Mom and your husband. Maybe even sit down with them both at the same time and let them know that you actually need their support instead of what has been happening.

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  • Mix stimulants with depressants.

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  • You are not a failure in any way, shape, or form just because you have a condition which is quite common to mankind. Your husband and mother are behaving very foolishly because they are choosing to be willfully ignorant. I'd guess that in their minds there exists a very strong stigma against such conditions. Because the stigma causes discomfort, they react by brushing it off and minimizing it. In this way they can continue to accept you without doing the challenging, hard work of reevaluating their thoughts and feelings regarding their stigma. It's a shame because they are taking the easy, cowardly way out, which brings harm to you. Feel free to confront them in a firm, honest way about this and let them know they should show true love by supporting you in this, instead of hiding from it. I hope things will get better.

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  • Adjust your life to suit you rather than trying to fit other people's expectations of who you should be.

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  • My parents refused to put me on medication no matter how much my teachers etc wanted me drugged up. Im now 26 and im glad they didnt, I know people who have been on that shit for years, and went on to abuse cocaine and speed etc.

    I don't believe ADD or ADHD are mental illnesses, it's just a label people use as an excuse to drug kids and keep them quiet. They also use it on prisoners

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    • ADHD seems like a label to explain a personality. Its not something you can take a blood test for. I get what you mean by that and I agree. Some people have trouble focusing and being still. ADHD is a convenient way to explain focusing problems. But thats what all a disorder is. Its a label for a set of problems.

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    • I dont think i need meds. I just need people to be more understanding that Im not doing these things for spite and to give me more patience.

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    • Just because some quack doctors diagnose this when it's not actually there in a person, doesn't mean the condition is not real. Drugs can help but should be taken only as a last resort if other interventions are insufficient to help, and then should always be the minimum effective dose.

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  • As others have said, many people have a very poor understanding of mental health issues. Lots of people lack the intelligence and empathy necessary to understand that sorting out things that are going wrong in your head requires more than just deciding to behave more "normally". Also, mental health issues make some people extremely uncomfortable because of fear (which is often suppressed) that something similar might happen to them.

    From what you say in your OP, it seems to me that the way your mother and husband refuse to take your diagnosis seriously suggests a fundamental lack of respect for you. Or maybe they're both just too damn stupid to understand what ADHD is, and they don't care enough about you to educate themselves.

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  • Could be autism spectrum too. Look up asbergers and read up on it. I think I got that shit.

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  • I don't know how normal it is for people to not believe in one's mental health diagnosis, but it's quite common for people to be ignorant about mental health, stigmatize those who suffer from it.

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  • Try whatever meds or whatever helps people like you and prove to them by getting better

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  • EVERY millenial has ADD, ADHD, Assburger's, or some other "spectrum space case who cannot focus" syndrome.

    Of course come time to do something fun or bury their nose in social media or post more selfies, suddenly these millenials CAN focus, CAN concentrate...

    If someone has the attention span of a gold fish, that is fine but calling it "ADD/ADHD/autism/whatever" does not make one special.

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    • wtf man

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      • Yeah wtf.
        This is why im mad at my mom. At least shes so damn old she doesnt know better. Leggs are you reallyold or just ignorant? If you had a kid with severe ADHD ill bet youd change your approach.

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  • I recommend seeing a doctor about medication that can help.

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  • It’s normal but not right

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