My ex called me after not talking for a year

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so me and my first love dated for 8 months. he broke up with me september of 2013, and ever since i’ve talked to him three times. 1) when he called me drunk saying he missed me 2) when he used me to hookup bc he was in a bad place and 3) when he picked me up when i was rly high and couldn’t drive. but we don’t talk at all. i’m still blocked. and twice he’s apologized for being a dick and TODAY he called me saying my sister called him a bunch so he wanted to make sure i was okay? but after that he apologized again and asked me how i was and stuff. what does this mean?? he said he doesn’t want to be friends cuz it’s too weird but i don’t know what to think of it :( i’m sad bc i still love him.

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Comments ( 13 )

RoseIsabella

6 years ago

Did your sister ever actually call him?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  yeah i found out she did
  
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LionsMane

6 years ago

You need to cut it off. You'll just keep falling for it. It's not that he is a terrible person, but as a guy myself, he's just lonely or bored or unsatisfied in some way and you're available. There's a sort of comfort in you.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  what do you mean comfort in me ?
  
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  - LionsMane
    
    6 years ago
    
    As people, for the most part we seek comfort in our lives. Like when you go to college and move away, (if you had a decent childhood) there is a comfort in visiting where you grew up. Or even if we're just talking about something as simple as food, a lot of people will just order the same item over and over because they know what it is like and it's not going to change and it is always there (as opposed to trying that new item that just hit the menu).
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      6 years ago
      
      so you don’t think he still loves me ?
      
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      - LionsMane
        
        6 years ago
        
        He loves the thought of you. There's probably a small part of him that does love you in some way but he's probably not in love with you. I think you need to move on and focus on yourself and you'll find someone else more fitting. There have been multiple times when I let myself hang onto the thoughts of women I thought I liked or loved for way too long. Only when I let go and distanced myself and found a new job and crowd and was happier did things start to click.
        
        It's never easy moving on and it doesn't always require tons and tons of huge changes but it does sound like you are holding on. This should not be causing you stress or anxiety. Eventually you will see you have a lot to offer and someone new will see that later on
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        6 years ago
        
        awwww thank you
        
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Boojum

6 years ago

You broke up with this guy nearly FIVE YEARS ago. It sounds like he's moved on, and you haven't.

Interesting how you say he's blocking you. How exactly would you know that, unless you've been trying to contact him? Did he perhaps block you because you were being a nuisance?

In any case, it seems to me pretty damn stupid of him to contact you again.

Accept that this relationship has been dead for a very long time, and recognise that you should have given it a decent burial years ago, rather than habitually poking at the rotting carcass and hoping it would miraculously be restored to glorious life.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  he blocked me on instagram and snapchat since we broke up, but over the phone he hasn’t. just weird he called me and apologized for how he acted after we broke up, but he’s done this before too.
  
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  - Boojum
    
    6 years ago
    
    Apologies for suggesting you're some sort of stalker.
    
    Who knows what's going on in his head? It's not unknown for guys to want to keep an ex on-tap for hook-ups when the guy feels the need. It's pretty common for people who have problems with their current relationship to look back on a prior relationship, remember it as better than it actually was, and wonder about getting back together.
    
    Or maybe, while he's certain things could never work out between the two of you, he does genuinely regret that it ended badly. I've been in a couple of relationships with women who I knew were fundamentally incompatible with me, but I did care for them a lot and I believed they were good people. When we broke-up, I knew it was for the best, but I was also sorry about it, and I hoped they'd find happiness with someone else.
    
    In any case, as I said in my previous, it has been nearly five years now. You don't need to completely forget about him (and I imagine you never will), but you really should be trying to move forward.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      6 years ago
      
      i mean i have, i have a current bf of over a year now. but he was my first love. you know? it’s hard. i’m just trying to get inside his head bc i feel there’s more to the story. why does he randomly appear and apologize ? this isn’t the first time it has happened. it’s been 3 times now i think. and he even told me he doesn’t want to be friends anymore ? so it’s just weird and i’m confused
      
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      - noid
        
        6 years ago
        
        Just let it go. Maybe he contacted you to get some closure.
        
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My ex called me after not talking for a year