My boyfriend has become a complete pushover. iin?

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14 Comments

He's had a few problems with being too shallow and panicking over things that don't matter(like my hair, boob size, my cosplaying, etc). After I said I'd be happy without him and would cut him off if we broke up, he freaked out and changed. Now I'm kind of worried about him. It's great that he's being more considerate and I refuse to go back to dealing with his overdramatics, but he seems to only do the things I want to do even when I try to make things even. Is it normal?

Voting Results
35% Normal
Based on 26 votes (9 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • angryblonde
    5 years ago

    It seems like he just loves you and is scared of losing you. I wish my boyfriend was like that. He also has problems about me that shouldn’t matter including my hair, he wants me to be as active as he is, he wants me to eat meat, what i music I listen to, what youtube videos i watch etc. I try to be active but the rest of the shit he gets mad about I just do it anyway and he still complains lol. If I told him to suck it up or I’m leaving him he would be like “there’s the door bitch good riddance”

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    • Boojum
      5 years ago

      He sounds controlling - and possibly very immature.

      I think you'd be wise to find the door yourself.

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      • angryblonde
        5 years ago

        I agree. Shits easier said than done though when you love somebody enough. Also, isn’t it ironic that I’m 18 and he’s 28 yet he’s the immature one lol

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        • Boojum
          5 years ago

          I do understand about the easier said than done thing.

          However, be aware that it's not unknown for controlling guys (aka psychopaths) to suck women down the rabbit hole, completely destroying their sense of self and all self-respect, until they find it impossible to imagine life without the guy and they're so wrapped up in him that they can't escape.

          Are you sure that isn't happening already? What precisely would he need to do to make you leave him? If you can't think of anything that would be so bad you'd do that, then I think you have a problem.

          (Rhetorical questions. I don't want to know the answers, but you should.)

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          • angryblonde
            5 years ago

            I think it’s already to that point. I was 16 when I fell in love with him. I was very naive and didn’t see the signs. Now I’m 18 and feel that it’s too late.

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            • RoseIsabella
              5 years ago

              So leave him. What kinda lecherous creep of a 26 year old goes after a 16 year old?

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        • RoseIsabella
          5 years ago

          He's not worth it!

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      • RoseIsabella
        5 years ago

        Um hmm.

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    • RoseIsabella
      5 years ago

      I think he's overreacting, and trying to manipulate her.

      Don't let some idiot tell you what to do. Be your own person, and do it for yourself.

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  • Boojum
    5 years ago

    He's overcompensating. At a guess, you're both young, and he's still trying to figure out how to make a relationship work. Maybe he's having problems because he hasn't grown up seeing a positive relationship where both people negotiate and compromise being modelled by his parents. If that's the case, he's unfortunately far from unique.

    I suggest you tell him that, while you're not looking for a boss or someone to critique every move you make, you also don't need a boyfriend shaped doormat.

    Having said that, him criticising your breast size is a truly dickhead move, and expressing disapproval of your hair only slightly less so. (As for cosplay, well, have to say I'm with him on that. 😜)

    Maybe he has truly taken a step back, considered how he's been behaving, decided he has been acting like a dick, and he's genuinely trying to be more mature. Let him know you appreciate that, but tell him that doesn't mean you want him to be your puppy dog and you'd like to be on a more level footing.

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  • trexagireve
    5 years ago

    He is a submissive and he likes to be a pushover so it's ok

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  • RoseIsabella
    5 years ago

    I think he's extremely codependent. I think that he's just acting this way, because he's probably a afraid he'll lose you, but once he gets comfortable again he'll probably fall back into his old behavior patterns of being a jackass. I highly suspect that with him everything is about being controlled, and controlling other people. I feel like this guy doesn't understand the concepts of respect and equality. Even now, he's essentially trying to manipulate you into staying by behaving himself, but overcompensating. He probably thinks that if you feel like you are in control he'll keep the relationship, but it's not who he really is.

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  • trexagireve
    5 years ago

    Just take advantage of the situation and find out how far he would go for you!! Make him your slave that will fulfill every desire if yours!! Make him lick you every where massage you and even ask him to be your little toilet!!

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      Nope

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