My boyfriend doesn't care when

6% Normal
17 Comments

whenever i have a problem with something, and i bring it up. he yells, and gets mad and says things like you need to leave, i can't put up with this, ur driving me crazy etc. but tonight i told him i didn't like the movie he was playing, and so he turned it off and just played one of his history movies; without asking me if it was what i wanted to watch. i asked him if we could pick out something together and he said no and i left the room. he didn't say anything or come in the room. it took me 45 minutes to come out and ask him what was wrong. he said nothing was wrong and that he wanted to be left alone. he sometimes gets like this, telling me to leave him alone. he said "leave me alone and let me watch my fucking movie" so i left the room.. advice ? on what to do. i'm so sad.

Voting Results
6% Normal
Based on 16 votes (1 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 17 )
  • mia500
    6 years ago

    Not to be a troll but he sounds like an asshole. He should be more patient and have some respect

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    5
    5
  • LookAUsername
    6 years ago

    He might have a small something wrong in his brain. (No offense) I take it he gets annoyed and frustrated easily, and you may have to break up with him. But I have a question, does he just suddenly snap and become meaner, or is he just plain out rude all the time?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
      -
    • RoseIsabella
      6 years ago

      Maybe he has a small something wrong in his pants?

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
    • madi18181
      6 years ago

      he snaps randomly. we got back from a trip, his dad is in bad condition... idk. the next morning he was yelling at me bc i wouldn't leave and then he apologized

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • Kevinevan
        6 years ago

        Learn what the word escalate means before you really need need to know. Get tf out of this relationship until this man child grows up!!

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
      • RoseIsabella
        6 years ago

        Maybe you could leave him for good, and find someone better. Maybe not, but maybe yes?

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • madi18181
          6 years ago

          he's enough. he just snaps sometimes..

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
            -
          • RoseIsabella
            6 years ago

            Well, maybe ya'll should go to couples counseling. Why stay with someone who treats you badly and is always telling you to leave him alone?

            Comment Hidden ( show )
            0
            0
  • Firsttaste
    6 years ago

    I'm sorry that he treats you like that,Sounds to me like you should get away from him as soon as possible, I don't believe he will change to accommodate your wishes,And if he talks to you in that manner his next step but be alittle hitting on you. No Girl, Lady, Or Woman deserves that type of behavior from anyone. Break away from him for your own safety.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • Boojum
    6 years ago

    It's not clear, but I assume you are living together. If you aren't, I don't understood why you hung around when he left the room to watch another movie.

    Living together isn't easy. Even if both people are reasonably mature and intelligent, learning how to negotiate and find compromises you can both accept requires effort, time and good-will from both parties.

    If you stomped in and shouted, "I hate this movie!" and he turned it off, that would have been a positive step on his part and not great behavior by you.

    However, by then putting on another movie which he knew you also wouldn't like, he was playing a mind-game. This allowed him to say to himself that you're just totally unreasonable and don't want him to watch anything he likes.

    When you went to ask what was wrong, he probably told himself that was a demonstration of how clingy and intrusive you are.

    If, however, you walked into the room and calmly said, "Could we watch something else?" and he then just turned off the movie and did the rest stated above, then he was being immature and unreasonable from start to end.

    It's difficult to give much helpful advice because the scene you've described is just a snapshot of a few minutes in a relationship.

    Can you two have calm, rational discussions about what you want and need from each other? Can you set boundaries, and allow each other me-time? Just because you're a couple, that doesn't mean you have to live in each other's pocket. Time apart is important, too.

    It could be that you are indeed needy and demanding. It could be that he's just not ready for a real, grown-up relationship.

    If he truly does explode in something like rage whenever you calmly express a need or desire, that suggests he's really not capable of making the compromises necessary to create a good life with another person. That possibility may make you feel very sad, but unless you're willing to always go along with whatever he wants, things are likely to get a lot sadder before you finally accept defeat.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • madi18181
      6 years ago

      thank you..

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • MR.mr
    6 years ago

    Maybe he needs more alone time, how much time do you guys spend together.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    -2
    -2
      -
    • Kevinevan
      6 years ago

      Time alone or not this guy can't even show a modicum of respect. He sounds like a spoiled, only child, mommas boy, grade A prick.

      Whether or not he just needs to grow up, OP should determine if her self respect is worth it to put up with this bullshit or not, perhaps at the risk of her own bodily injury. Myself, I tend to stay tf away from people who "snap". But thats just me.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      usually 5 times a week. but this week we were together for like a whole week at a time

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • Boojum
        6 years ago

        That's a big change for him to get used to, particularly if happens to be the sort of guy who enjoys time on his own. If that's so, and you wanted to make the most of the opportunity to spend more time with him, AND he has family issues at the moment, his behavior is possibly a little more understandable.

        Many women respond to problems by wanting to talk about them; many men respond to problems by either trying to ignore them and hope they'll go away, or by engaging in displacement activities like sport.

        Learning how to deal with that conflict was one of the biggest lessons I had to learn. I don't think I truly got that until I was in my 30s.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • Anonymous Post Author
          6 years ago

          so what advice do you have for me?

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
            -
          • MR.mr
            6 years ago

            Give him a minimum of an hour alone time each day.

            Comment Hidden ( show )
            0
            0