My BF wants permission to sleep with my sister

I just finished giving someone else advice her on loyalty and it reminded me (again) of a problem I have been having with my BF.

He is a great guy, we're steady, in fact I am about four months pregnant with his child. Thing is, for me, pregnancy is dangerous - at best. My doctors decided that is a very bad idea for us to have sex.

My BF and I were both non plussed over it, but for the well being of me and our child, we accepted it. We can still have oral and mutual masturbation and everything was fine.

So I Thought.

Lately though, my BF has been asking me how I would feel if he were to sleep with my sister, his point being that since we are twins it wouldn't really be cheating because she would look just like me and he'd be thinking of me the whole time.

I am Not buying it. It Still Feels like cheating to me, wrong somehow, and even if I went along, I am not sure my sis would be interested.

Whenever I complain about his saying things like this he backs off and tells me he was just kidding, but when we have "pretend sex" (As he calls it) he often brings it up.

Is this normal? I want him to be happy and sexually satisfied, but I am feeling a little hurt and conflicted.

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 21 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • If you have a brother, then maybe he wants to "sleep" with him - it wouldn't be gay though, because he would be thinking of you the whole time. Does this help put it into perspective?

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  • The last time my bf asked me "what if me and _ was together would you be mad" or do you think I could be with your _" and then it was the "Im just kidding after....well actually, the whole time they were being together the whole time with each other (my family member) for a month or if he's saying those things you better find out if he's already done it. hopefully he didn't yeat and lay it on him and be strong...tell him if he says it one more time he's out and mean it. Throw him out, suck it up and wait and see if he's willing to stop saying things to upset you. I know its gonna be hard but that's the only way to get respect before it gets out of hand. I know this, I've been through it!

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  • Wow, and you're pregnant with child? Damn, baby, you're stuck with this fucktard for the rest of your life.

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    • Hun I'm going through almost the same thing. My bf has never met my sister. We have been together for eight months. My sister gets out of prison tomorrow n all I've heard this last month is how he wants to sleep with her n get head from her. I told him it hurts but he says hes joking n continues comments. I'm confused myself

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  • Normal fantasy, but not in real life.

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  • ur man might not be like that and might just be blowing smoke out his ass bc he is sex deprived but im js how a lot of men r

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  • hunny like 80 to 90 percent of men are just assholes ur best bet is to just go lesbo. No matter how good u look or treat ur man they always judge u bc they always judge woman unjustly nonstop and they always will cheat. Btw bud i look way to good to even be with my man and have treated him like a king and brought way more income into the house an he still cheats and he is butt ugly so im leavin him. Men think its a woman job to do everything and keep the relationship going and fun that they can be ugly and never or themselves and u gotta be sexy and hot on top of doing everything and always be ever so.happy and smile. And then they cheat and ignore u anyways

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  • He had the stones to ask you first. Let them do it. I guarantee you, he will think you are hotter for it. And when he is with you, he will actually think about you from then on, instead of your twin, which is what is really happening, even if he denies it. Is he scum for it? No. He's a guy. It's built in. Fix the situation. Improve your life. Let them have fun.

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  • omg hell no. thats not normal. thats sick. hes just useing your twin sister as if hes allowed to have sex with her because you look alike. your two different people, thats grooss. and you should leave him. what a sick basta**

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    • what an immature and ridiculous comment. sick? seriously? he is attracted to his girlfriend's twin sister, open communicates it to her that he feels that way (and who on earth wouldn't) and respectively tries to save the situation and save face by calling it a joke when he sees that she wasn't really ok with the idea, because he cares about their relationship and does not want to mess things up. good grief. what more do you want from the guy. truthteller my a$$.

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  • Well I feel there are a couple things missing here. It doesn't sound like you've told him how it makes you feel. Whether it is "wrong" or counts as "cheating" or whether his reasoning is bad or what is not the central thing, it is how the idea of you sleeping with your sister or wanting to sleep with your sister makes you FEEL. It it hurts you, and he knew that would he still bring it up?

    It perfectly normal for him to want to fuck other women, especially your twin sister since if you are his physical type, so probably is she. It's normal but we refrain from fucking other people because of how it would make our partner feel. Maybe he would just like to fantasize about it while you give him oral or whatever, and maybe that's why he talks about it. If you're cool with that maybe that would satisfy him. Of course if that upsets you, you need to tell him that.

    You need two to talk openly and honestly with each other about your feelings.

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  • Have you gone mad?I really dot understand people like you.What does it mean she looks like you and it is not cheating.He doesnt respect you I guess.You should do it for your baby.If you dont have sex then let him wait .You are going to give his child a birth,yeah?He is surely selfish

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  • I was going over my post for today and I reread your story. I didn't know your pregnant so I can understand his point of view, sorta.

    Hes not getting any but thats not really it, relations with a pregnant girl is like driving a car that has been recked and because you no longer drive, he still wants sex. Remeber, he isn't pregnant.

    Help him out in some way by your hand or whatever and that may help.

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    • after the fact but i will answer.

      I always did give him my hand or mouth when he wanted it, but he said that was just pretend sex.

      As for him and Winter (my sis) - never would have happened. She never liked him much.


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  • Yeah, I wouldn't buy it either. Speaking completely honest, I love my fiance as well but I do often think about cheating. If you look at some of my past posts, it would confirm this.

    I do not plan on cheating on my fiance but it is nice to play with the idea and realise to myself that I don't have to be tied down if I do not wish to be. However, my fiance is a great girl and I am truly happy just talking with her.

    Yes, I really would like to have a sexual relationship with someone I am more attracted to but if I had to pick, I have to go with personality more. But it doesn't mean that I am less of a man or that my priorities have changed. I still wish my girlfriend would lose the weight and learn to dress up though.

    Now your story, you appear like a great person and a guy saying he wants to do this or that kind of proves that he isn't all that great. If you look like your sister, then honestly I think he wants a threesome. (I have been offered this option by my fiance but honestly, nobody would like to go girl girl with her.) A lot of guys, including myself, love the IDEA of other options but the decent guys wont stray.

    Yes, I am going to be married to a cow, but at least this way I am marrying my best friend. I know she will read this as I don't hide things from her, even ideas, and she will read and get me calling her a cow but I am trying to make a point.

    What is "pretend" sex, could you please explain this?

    But my biggest question is why your sister? Unless he is curious (Guys like me do think of crap like this from time to time although with me, not as much anymore) about if it is different with a twin or your lacking in something; I do not understand why your sister.

    Were they ever friendly? If so, then it makes more sence. Are you two closely alike in looks, I mean could he tell you both apart or not. IF not, play as your sister and see if he "would" cheat. Also, does she know of his desire? Odds are, she being a girl would be quite annoyed and that would end that. If she is excited, it would beg to ask if they already did something?

    I would love to give more advice or what I think, I just need more information. I guess my last question is would he be okay for you to sleep with a different man?

    If so, then don't give up an opportunity but if he is appalled, then there is his answer.

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  • miss october , i've seen you post a lot of helpful suggestions on this site that have must have helped people who listened to them.would you mind answering this question before i tell you my opinion on this matter: how long until you can have sex with your boyfriend again ?

    p.s. your boyfriend loves you , its just that he's been sex depraved for a long time and his "primal instincts" got to him , i know it's no excuse but don't punish him ( a lot ) for something he didn't do ...

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  • i understand where he is coming from, but i also agree with the ladies.
    he shouldnt even be asking this question. if he truely loves you (not the emotion, but the action) then he will make love to you, and only you when he can, b/c it is you, not b/c it looks like you.

    im only 19 years old, but i see love as not an emotion, but something you hold an give to your significant other.

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  • I'm sorry Tob, I'm laughing at his falacious, bullshit reasoning, if not at the absurdity that it "wouldn't be cheating because I'd be thinking of you the whole time baby, really, I mean truly, honest..." Oh and then when she gets pregnant you could tell your kids to really be thing that they are sisters and not cousins...
    You see because we're in France you have to make my bunk bed... but if we were in Germany then I'd have to make yours, sorry dude that's just the breaks, cause we're in France, not Germany...what? (Bullshit line by Bill Murray in Stripes- paraphrased)

    Hey you, forget my theory then about your bf loving you so much...who knows?

    No, the answer is "No, your can't sleep with my sister!" It's a no brainer and you have a brain, sweetheart, so you should know better. What does your heart say? Always trust it! The head is the one that circumnavigates what's best.

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    • he only said that because he was hoping it would work and that she'd go for it. his gf's twin sister is probably driving him bonkers because he can't stop thinking about the fantasty of it. in fact, real truth is... he probably thinks of her twin when he's with her! not the other way around. lol. in fact... if he was with her twin instead, and his current gf was the "other twin", he'd probably have the same desires for the twin who, in reality, is already his gf. ha!

      ok I'm having too much fun with this.

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