Mistaken for dating most of my friends

Since I left school and started mostly hanging out with friends one-on-one rather than in 5+ person groups people have repeatedly assumed that my friends and I are dating.

Notable examples were when my university friend and I were waiting for a lecture to start and a group of girls came up to us and said they always see us and commented on how “cute” we were before one asked if we were together. I said no and tried to laugh about it with my friend later but he was clearly uncomfortable about it. Others have embraced it, once I was waiting for a friend outside her building looking sharp (if I say so myself) and holding a flower she’d given me when her neighbour walked passed staring at me. She then came out and told me the neighbour thought I was her date and that I was lucky to land such a good looking woman.

Even my friends’ parents have done this, they become suspicious of how much time I spend with their offspring apparently asking, “You and OP are... really good friends aren’t you...?” and holding it there as if waiting for a love confession. One time when staying at my friend’s family’s holiday house the mother offered us a double bed “if we wanted it” I quickly asserted that two singles were fine. Another’s mother outright asked my friend if she had a crush on me - to her horror.

I’ve had other friends and my own family get suspicious as well to the point where I don’t have a single friend I have not been accused of dating or pining after at some point. Is it really that odd for two adults to enjoy spending time alone together? Have you been mistaken for dating your friends?

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Comments ( 6 )
  • bbrown95

    I've had the same thing happen with a couple of different male friends I spent a lot of time with (one of which I still do, and many people have thought we are a couple). I've also had people suggest that we date.

    I don't think it's odd for two adults to enjoy spending time alone together at all, and I've never really understood why is such a common belief that it's nearly impossible to have a close, yet strictly platonic relationship with someone of the opposite sex.

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    • I think toxic monogamy culture plays a part, the idea that all your emotional support should come from a romantic partner which leaves no room for meaningful adult friendships.

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  • ZREBELX

    Don't worry about other people. You, and your friends know what's up.

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    • True, it’s never the friend who thinks I want more, always another observer. Perhaps someone who needs some lessons in Sherlocking.

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  • olderdude-xx

    Friendships are different than "romantic relationships (i.e., Dating).

    You'd do best not to confuse the two.

    Of course, there are "Friends with benefits" where you and your friend takes care of each others sexual needs with no romantic relationship; and because neither of you are involved with someone else romantically (unless there is specific permission to some form of "open" relationship with that other person).

    You'll figure it out.

    I wish you the best...

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    • There are no sexual favours being exchanged, they are purely platonic friends who I love the way I would love a sibling. The people around me seem to assume otherwise though.

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