Massive disdain for female sexuality.

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So hey.

All through my life, I have had a massive disdain for female sexuality, such that the flames of hell it's self could not quench.
Not sure why. The female figures in my life have been fine, credits to their gender actually. I was raised a little old school, to believe that women are a magnificent creature, something worth dying for. And that men are disposable items worth dying, but not crying over. I was raised a christian, and still am. But my views changed a bit when I reached my teens. Female sexuality was a curious thing to , so I read about female sexuality anyway I could. Spoke to female teens my age about their thoughts on it (I was regularly shunned). Then I found myself in a situation where a young lady confessed a fantasy of a man giving her oral sex, and asked me if I would. We had blizzards from dairy queen (I just wanted to enjoy my blizzard, but gave into her persistence) "Uh sure why not?...". So I engaged in my first sexual act with a female, the moment I saw the thing I thought " good god this thing is messy". After what felt like an eternity a bunch of stuff sprayed me, and I made swift use of the napkins from dairy queen. After gargling liquid cookie dough blizzard, and spitting to get rid of taste, I thought for a moment... Is that it? That's the almighty prize that I am supposed to die for? If that's the prize then real sex must be off the chain. She thanked me by giving the sexy time. After words I thought again, nope that is still a bunch of bullshit. Ever since that experience I just have a horrible disdain for female sexuality. And when I have gotten hit on I just feel like "Don't batt your fuckin eyes at me princess, I don't need to dive into that hell hole".

Over time I got a little better, and got together with a woman who was molested for four years as a little girl, its worked out pretty good because she only asks for sex every three months or so. Fine by me! Told her all about my experience and apologized that I was promiscuous before meeting her, she was fine with it. But still I have feelings like I used to, just less intense. I want to be amazed by female sexuality, society says I am supposed to be a horny guy. I kind of wish I was for once.

Thoughts please? I could use a hand here.

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Based on 60 votes (24 yes)

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Comments ( 53 )

[Old Memory]

9 years ago | pl

I'm not sure if I understand.

Are you saying that you're repulsed by the fact that females have sexual interest to begin with, or is it certain aspects of the female physique that disgusts you? Perhaps both?

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- CoffeeKev
  
  9 years ago
  
  I was taught to believe that women hunger for pure things. Strength, solidarity, peace, love for people. The moment I went down on her I guess the picture I had developed over the years of women, was shattered. I thought women didn't like sex, didn't like being fuckin pounded like a dog in heat, getting all sweaty with a big old nasty dude piercing her with a sword made of flesh. I just can't look at women the same again. I thought they were greator than us. And they are not.
  
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  - ㅤㅤㅤ
    
    9 years ago
    
    Uh...well she's a person, too? She has needs. Women ar enot greater than men, and men are not greater than women. I'm sorry that your image of us has "shattered" but you must know that not everything is like a fairytale. Not sure who told you we were so amazing and pure but...we're all just people?
    
    I personally don't have sexual needs like that, but I would never shun a woman who does.
    
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    9 years ago
    
    Ah, okay. So the title was indeed accurate.
    
    I agree. There's a certain image, a certain expectation I can't help but have of the female gender which is fundamentally incompatible with the concept of female sexuality.
    
    Recently I was speaking about how just one of the reasons why I can't have kids is that if I were to have a daughter, I honestly don't know how I would cope with the fact that she would eventually and invariably become a sexual object; not only of others' interest but also, perhaps more disturbingly, naturally reciprocating to such things at will. It makes me fucking SICK!
    
    One can call call me a prude, a puritan or an idealist all they want; it will not and it can not change how I feel.
    
    Then again, I acknowledge that this little hangup of mine isn't necessarily rational, as one of the more obtuse things one can do is attempt to mentally sugarcoat human nature.
    
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mountain-man82

9 years ago | pl

Maybe you havent been with the right woman. Ive been with woman that were terrific in bed, and others were I was bored out of my mind. Its not just the vagina that makes the woman wonderful. Its the emotions between you two that heighten the experience and make it wonderful. Find a woman that makes you feel amazing in every way, and the emotions during it will send you over the top and you'll know what they all talked about then.

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- CoffeeKev
  
  9 years ago
  
  I certainly can understand what you are saying, it is really reasonable. However I have been married to one who was molested for ten years now, I am just trying to be amazed by her. I try my best to never ask anything of her as I am strictly against me as a person that someone else provide me with happiness, I believe that job is mine. What you say is true though, it is more than a vagina. Its just that I think in pictures and all I can picture is a bloody pit of despair topped by a pretty face. I dont believe that any woman is a safe place for any man, it is simply our job to be willing to die for them if need be. Other than that, I am just here to provide money and a safe home for her.
  
  I do see what you are saying. Thanks for the advice.
  
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howaminotmyself

9 years ago

Sexuality is your capacity to have sexual feelings and erotic experiences. It does sound like you are repulsed by the physical part and not just the fact that she has the thoughts. But A lot of people dont think women are allowed to have these feelings. As if its wrong or dirty or improper. What you describe is just a lack of desire for sex yourself. So it sounds like you found a good partner for yourself, but your partner will never heal from her experience.

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- CoffeeKev
  
  9 years ago
  
  I believe that women are completely allowed to have whatever feelings they want. I just... I guess I thought women really were everything I was taught they were to be. These amazing life saving people, that bring happiness and music into your life, acceptance and peace. They are supposed to be better than us. Worth more than us, stronger than us. But their not... Their just as fucked up as the worst man alive. They are not princesses or queens, or even delicate. They are smelly wretched clingy little tear sprayers. There was supposed to be a higher element to life. And now there is not. I am confused, should I would repulsed by women, or the church that raised me, or my mother, and destroy my relationship with her. I would gladly sever the bond I have with my mother if I found out she vindictively trained me to be against women.
  
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  - LAR23
    
    9 years ago
    
    I take strong offense to that. And I think that's a ridiculous thing to say. Women do plenty of amazing things, as do men of course, but you're jading your entire view of them as personalities and people because they have sexual desire? Based primarily off an experience with a horny sloppy teenage girl? um..
    
    I understand that your expectations were shattered and you don't seem to be a bad guy, but I think your perspective is entirely wrong and kind of judgmental. Generalizing won't do you any good..
    
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    - ㅤㅤㅤ
      
      9 years ago
      
      Agreed wholeheartedly.
      
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  - ㅤㅤㅤ
    
    9 years ago
    
    What an asshole. Genitals aren't supposed to be gorgeous? That's just where the stuff happens. If you dislike women so much, why not be gay? :/ I'm an equal opportunity human lover, no matter the gender.
    
    You just sound like a (metaphorical) dick. I'm guessing your first bad experience as a kid was because you weren't interested in the girl. And if you don't like what some women want well, then don't be with them. Simple.
    
    I'm asexual and I'm not with my boyfriend because of his dick - I'm with him because I fucking love and adore him. Genitals are not supposed to be beautiful; if you wanted that, then put your dick into a bucket of sparkles and let your cock be bedazzled.
    
    People will be people. Sure gender plays parts in it, but overall there will be bad men, and bad women. You can't ignore that there are and always be good men, and good women too, though. I agree with LAR23;, generalizing an ENTIRE gender? No offense but that's dumb. Some women are princesses to me, as some men are princes. Other women are fucking cunts (no pun intended), and other men are fucking pretentious morons and douchebags.
    
    Maybe you just didn't mean the right person yet? Because when you do, what their junk looks like doesn;t matter - in fact,it might look GOOD to you automatically just because it belongs to them, the person you're crazy for.
    
    I mean I was scared the first time I saw his thingamabobber but after I got over my own personal internal conflicts, it didn't matter anymore and now I actually enjoy doing whatever I can to make him happy.
    
    I mean, best of luck man, but enough with the pussy hate, 'aight? Dicks and vajayjays aren't supposed to be beautiful - thats what faces and personality is for, right? Sorry if I sounded too mean in the beginning (I've since cooled down), but I absolutely can't stand it when people bash the opposite sex's genitals. Just mean, it's like you're literally hating someone for what they were born with, mentally and physically. Not cool. Good luck in your future endeavors.
    
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    - qld37
      
      9 years ago
      
      I strongly agree with your thoughts on the attractive appearance of a partners genitals. In my experiences when I have got as far as being naked with my partner I have never sat back to analyse their genitals on a scale of attractiveness. I have simply loved them because it was 'their' genitals.
      
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    - howaminotmyself
      
      9 years ago
      
      I'm pretty sure Georgia O'Keefe would argue with you about the beauty of genitals. Just look at her paintings of irises, those sure look like vaginas to me, and they are quite lovely.
      
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  - qld37
    
    9 years ago
    
    Maybe you should start by getting rid of the stupid religion in your life telling you what to think?
    
    Your view of women is appalling. They are your equal. Respect them. Respect all men and women equally. We're all the same damned species. Sexual lust and desire is different from one 'person' to another, but not because of gender.
    
    I am offended by your statements as a human. I am not female. I am not a supporter of (modern) feminism. I do believe in 100% equality in humans, irrespective or race, gender or class.
    
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  - howaminotmyself
    
    9 years ago
    
    wow, you put the pussy on a pedestal.
    
    People can be truly amazing, regardless of their genitals. Or they can be horrible.
    
    And I do not stink!
    
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GinaHead

9 years ago

This all reads like an ItDuz or Crusades troll.

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- CoffeeKev
  
  9 years ago
  
  Not sure what that is, but sure I guess.
  
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Gspyder

9 years ago

I usually assume any guy who doesn't "get" why they're supposed to like sexual acts with women are asexual, but it sounds like you weren't interested in that first girl and she left a bad taste in your mouth so to speak. Also, why are you typing like you're trying to impress a middle school English teacher? It's just odd.

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- CoffeeKev
  
  9 years ago
  
  Because fuck you and the horse you rode in on, that's why.
  
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  - Gspyder
    
    9 years ago
    
    Alright then. At least check your spelling and look up the meanings of your big words next time. If I was a middle school English teacher I'd have to give this a D-
    
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    - CoffeeKev
      
      9 years ago
      
      Okay will do, thanks for attacking my writing abilities, when you could have contributed something meaningful to a serious discussion asshole.
      
      And you make sure and spend a lot of time getting lost in a magical fairyland of grammar, and punctuation rules, Rain man.
      
      I am still looking for your answer you autistic piece of dirt. Do you think its normal or not. Stop being such a troll and answer the question.
      
      (I assume that since the way I composed the question the first time, looked strange to you. I thought it might be better to use a more modern, "internet style" of writing. Do you like it this way better fuck knob? Or would you prefer the more proper version?)
      
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      - Gspyder
        
        9 years ago
        
        Read my first comment again. I gave you your answer.
        
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        CoffeeKev
        
        9 years ago
        
        Nah your not done with me. I am so far beneath you, that you can't stop until you are the last voice of reason to be heard.
        
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ilovetoiletrolls

9 years ago

I remember one of my ex's. We didn't really know each other well so there wasn't any emotional attachment. He was new to sex and had told me he wanted to remain a virgin until he felt he was ready to lose it. I was completely accepting of this but when he gave me oral for his first time, he didn't seem to want to do it again. I didn't pressure him but I asked why that was. He said it felt awkward and it didn't feel right to do that down there and that he didn't like the feeling on his tongue and even told me he was slightly turned off by it. I was confused because my boyfriend before him gave me oral all the time and was obsessed with it. But this guy was so distant to sex and to the pleasure involved.

Let's just fast forward and just three years later, he was dating MY friend. My friend and him get on extremely well, had been dating for a while and I could tell they were in love. She's one who over-shares so she told me he gives the best oral lol and she never had oral before him so he obviously does it because he enjoys it.

What I'm trying to say is, maybe you haven't been with the right girl yet.

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- CoffeeKev
  
  9 years ago
  
  Okay thank you for your thoughts, I appreciate it.
  
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Anonnet

9 years ago

The story was pretty funny to read.

I give points to you not only for being totally honest about who you are in the comment section, but also for not clicking the box that lets you post anonymously.

I was raised christian, too, but I was never told the "women are a magnificent creature" thing. I've heard it before, for sure, but I always relate that statement with just men being straight.

Anyway, to be blunt, it sounds like you just don't like vaginas, though I may be seriously over-simplifying it. You made a pretty big jump, from just not liking sex to calling vaginas "hell holes". Maybe the experience was just so far lower than you were expecting that it left a huge impression on your mind?

I hope you're with the girl you're with because you love her, and not just because she rarely asks you for sex.

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- CoffeeKev
  
  9 years ago
  
  Nah I love her because she is incredibly forgiving of who I am. And I am thankful for that. Thanks for your comment, it is really genuine. I can tell you are a good person.
  
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Avant-Garde

9 years ago

The hook-up culture has completely destroyed the traditional sense of love. Most women don't respect themselves and because of this, most men don't respect them.
It's completely understanding that your sense of female sexuality would be destroyed based on such an act. You'd probably have to date and marry a religious girl who takes these traditional values seriously.

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dom180

9 years ago

Sounds like you have some harmful false fundamental beliefs about sex, which are making it difficult for you to understand who you are. Maybe you're asexual, maybe you're not. I think it would be helpful for you to see a sex therapist (or just a plain old therapist, so long as they're good), not to change you but to help you learn about yourself.

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Avant-Garde

9 years ago

I don't see anything wrong in what you have written.

The thought of sex and the having of sex is very strange to me. (I'm asexual.) I don't get the appeal. Based on observation, it seems to be very overrated.

I know this is not the same as what you meant, but I find society's obsession with sex as well as hook-up culture to be downright disgusting.

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- [Old Memory]
  
  9 years ago
  
  Bisexual or asexual? Make your mind up, lady!
  
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  - Avant-Garde
    
    9 years ago
    
    Haha! "Romantic Asexual" is the best suited term for me.
    
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- ㅤㅤㅤ
  
  9 years ago
  
  Hello there! Fellow ace. Yes, I feel that way too - the obsession, especially in TV ads gross me the fuck out much of the time (Trojan condom commercials on a kids' channel during the day? What the fuck? Who let that shit through, I wanna watch Spongebob not see someone make phallic and titty jokes out of usually innocent objects).
  
  I'm not grossed out by sex, I just don't feel a damn thing from whatever my boyfriend and I do (other than the love I have for him, I feel that. But physically, I can't feel anything)
  
  But eh, I guess that's just what some people wanna do with their lives - the hookup culture, I mean. I don't see the appeal but there are people who do so, it'll always be around. I say live and let live...just don't get me involved! xD
  
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SkullsNRoses

9 years ago

Maybe you're gay? Or asexual? Also I'm pretty sure the whole "dying in battle for your love" thing died out several hundred years ago.

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- CoffeeKev
  
  9 years ago
  
  Homosexuality to me is horrible terrible version of sexual expression. Asexuality is pretty much out of the question since I have an encredibly deep desire to raise me children. And chivalry did not die several hundred years ago. It is alive and well.
  
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  - SkullsNRoses
    
    9 years ago
    
    Damn do you live in the 1700s or something?
    
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    - CoffeeKev
      
      9 years ago
      
      Actually I kind of wish I did, well done good friend huzzah.
      
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    - ㅤㅤㅤ
      
      9 years ago
      
      LOL
      
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  - ㅤㅤㅤ
    
    9 years ago
    
    But you sound like you really do not like women. Maybe you're gay but you're too afraid of what your religion will think so you're repressing it? Don't be afraid to express yourself dude. Otherwise you'll end up with a miserable wasted life of confusion and what-ifs.
    
    Or just, don't be with anyone, then. Just adopt kids? That way you don't have to be with anyone :y
    
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RoseIsabella

9 years ago

I hope the Dairy Queen chick returned the favor, and went down on and satisfied you after ruining your Cookie Doug Blizzard experience. Don't do anything sexual for another person that they would not be willing to do for you. Also don't ask for any favors you're not willing to return.

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- green_boogers
  
  9 years ago
  
  Hey Rosie. I will often do things for women that they wouldn't do in return. It loosens up their inhibitions. Then I give them lots of compliments for talking dirty, thinking dirty thoughts, and doing dirty things. It provides a safe environment for them to expand their sexual horizons.
  
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  - RoseIsabella
    
    9 years ago
    
    Well, that's your choice and prerogative I suppose, but I prefer straight up and down the middle equality myself. It's not my job to teach others and loosen their inhibitions.
    
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    - green_boogers
      
      9 years ago
      
      Don't you find it pleasurable to warp and corrupt your partner's sense of innocence? Why not help them get in touch with a hidden perverted desire?
      
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      - RoseIsabella
        
        9 years ago
        
        Honestly, nope. I find it pleasurable to be with someone I love and respect who feels the same way about me. Weird mind games and power plays tend to annoy and bore me.
        
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        green_boogers
        
        9 years ago
        
        I guess the dark side is not for you.
        
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peaceandlovebro

9 years ago

I think you haven't me the right woman. If you're sexually compatible, this probably wouldn't be an issue. To me, giving oral is amazing and I enjoy it very much.

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- CoffeeKev
  
  9 years ago
  
  That is fantastic, I am glad for people who really enjoy that connection, and rather jealous.
  
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qld37

9 years ago

Ahh, so, basically... You discovered that they are human like yourself?

This is hard to comprehend. Take women off the pedestal in your mind and appreciate them for living, breathing humans just like yourself.

Look at the bright side! At least your disgust of female sexuality can remove you from the gene pool! Yay for evolution!

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Lonely2

9 years ago

You either have a low sex drive or are gay imho...I know when I have no sex drive women look like pain in the asses...but when I am horny every little thing about them drives me nuts...but even then I still see them as total fucking mean bitches

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NiniCool

9 years ago

LOL ! OP is ridiculous ! :P

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anti-hero

9 years ago

Lay off the coffee Kevin.

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Are You Normal?

Massive disdain for female sexuality.