Living your life to impress people vs not caring what they think

I think it’s something I’ve gotten attuned to for years now. Maybe it had something to do with social media, getting likes, approval, etc.

This is not just about bragging or humble bragging about what you did or who you know. This feels more automatic, like it’s what you want. Let’s take cooking, for example. I identify as a foodie, food lover, love checking out restaurants, trying new recipes, etc.
But when I talk to people about things related to this, I feel like there is some part of me that wants them to care, or I’m subconsciously choosing to talk about things knowing they may approve or give me attention.
It doesn’t feel as much a conscious decision to get the approval or whatever it is I’m trying to get.
But, it’s actually influencing other decisions I would make, and that’s where I’m noticing there could be a problem. Because I will be making choices (let’s say, to cook food) not even knowing I may eventually use it to impress someone.
I might actually think I’m doing it for myself, me trying to live my best life, put me first.

But there are other choices I could make, which is more boring. Or it might just be about how I feel about my life, and by trying to live my life more glamorously, I feel better and think I have an important life or I matter. But if I make the choices that might be right for me or based out or need or not caring what others think, others might find that boring. Or I’m afraid it will mean I actually do have a boring, uninteresting life and I won’t matter.

So if I make those choices instead, it hits differently, it hits deeper; like this is what I really want and need to do, and whatever else I am doing, whether it be for someone’s attention or for pleasure, it feels almost like not really me, like I want them to care, but it feels entitled somehow.
When I’m doing what I truly care about or need or doing it out of the place of not caring what others think (even if they think I’m boring or I get no attention, etc)
It feels humbler, I feel more at peace.

Anyone else experience this dichotomy? How does it affect the choices you make? The conversations you have?

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Comments ( 11 )
  • jodi1955

    I live many years trying to make everyone around me happy, then one day I realized that if I am ever going to be happy I also need to do what is inside of me, so the balance of both is what is needed.

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  • RoseIsabella

    Normal is somewhere in the middle.

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    • donkeykong716

      good to know

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      • RoseIsabella

        🙂

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  • olderdude-xx

    I suggest you find and join a cooking activity group in your area. They you will have people to talk to about food who will listen... and respond with questions for you.

    It's generally not wise to force conversations on people on subjects that they are not interested in, unless it really involves their safety or significantly impacts their future.

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    • donkeykong716

      seems like an interesting idea. I might run into a bunch of old ladies or moms, not exactly my cup of tea, but oh well.

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      • olderdude-xx

        You might be surprised... A number of younger people like to cook too...

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  • GuvnorsOtherWoman

    I live my life for me not others.

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  • 1WeirdGuy

    "Sir you arent allowed in this club with that attire. You have a mustard stain on your shirt."

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    • donkeykong716

      that would never happen with me

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  • Billy247newaccount_35467829

    Don't do either.

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