Life is becoming rough

Is it normal i have to be constantly the rock or cornerstone, the stable person that gives strength to my family and friends? My brother is a perma drug addict and my mother is probably an alcoholic and are emotional wrecks.

I have to support them and be strong constantly and tell them how it's okay and they're going to be fine.

Most of my friends are emotionally fragile and need constant reassurance of their self worth. Both friends and family continually make poor decisions and have negative consequences in life.

I am financially successful and (i suppose emotionally as well) and continue to support everyone in both regards. Sometimes i get emotional but then i realize i can't allow myself to feel that way because so many people depend on me to be there for them.

I realize that happiness is a decision and i am self aware enough not to allow myself to ever get depressed. I do find myself drinking alot and listening to music alone to get away from it all more and more often though.

I have a girlfriend and the sex is great for her but at the end of the day i think something is missing. I think i should care more about myself but that would require selfishness and the hurting of so many people.

I guess my question is, "should I?" Or, "is it normal or okay" to potentially neglect so many people to focus on myself? Or am I just being a bitch and need to man up and quit crying?

Is It Normal?
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  • If you let them do it most people will just suck the life out of you slowly and slowly over time. You should probably focus more on your own happiness instead of making sure the others around you are happy and basing your own self worth on their happiness. Most addicts in general are miserable people and misery loves company.

    Be careful with your own drinking while being alone. Most alcoholics start down the road doing just that.

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  • Take care of yourself and your health first. Your responsibilities are what made you an adult instead of an aged child. It may seem overwhelming at times, but they give your life meaning.

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  • You should also think about going to a healing place that has this tea type drink called ayahuasca. There is a place in Mexico, Canada and southern America or South Africa. It is a miracle and it WILL have you with a positive outlook on life after leaving.

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  • You're not selfish! You need to take care of YOU! :) if you're not happy you need to get rid of that girlfriend. Find a girl that loves adventure and outgoing. Try something that scares you. Like if it's heights, go bungy jumping.. go see another country. Take a week off from your normal life and take care of you. You're not alone, trust me. At least you have friends and loved ones that do care. Some people literally have no one. Just themselves. You're just in a runt and stuck in routine. That depresses everyone. So when that happens, you need some adventure in your life. :) just know that you're never alone.

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  • It's not selfish to take care of yourself, in fact you won't be able to go on being so self-sacrificing for ever and when you fall in a heap who will look after you and all these people who are dependent on you?

    You can take care of yourself without neglecting others: most of us manage to find the balance in doing that in our lives without seeing our choices as being so extreme - yours choices need not be between total selfishness and total selflessness.

    I'd recommend you find an AlAnon 12 step group, which is for family & friends of alcoholics and addicts. I wouldn't mind betting all this support you give out is in fact supporting these people in their addictions.

    Whether or not there's something important missing in your relationship is a separate issue, but it's likely that situation would improve if you stopped "giving it all away" and kept some energy for yourself and the relationship.

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