It's normal to tell my best friend that i love her

So the question here is I've been talking to her for about 3 and a half years and she's the only friend I have, since the beginning I felt something for her, we stayed nights talking until dawn and it was very pleasant for me, only that then we stayed a whole year without talking and we started talking now again at the end of the year 2021. She had a boyfriend at the time but she already broke up with him, I don't know if she sees me the same way, because when we talk she is super cute to me, only lately she's been taking a long time to respond, but she apologize for that and I understand she's been very busy with schoolwork, but i also try to score something just that she avoids as much as possible and never wants to show her face when we talk online by call. What should I do?

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  • The fact that she doesnt want to show her face is a redflag. Makes me think maybe shes a catfish. And also the whole "Ive been busy" thing is usually bs

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    • She could be but I talk to her often on video calls, her voice is totally female and i only have one instagram photo of her but she hides her face with the phone, she had a boyfriend i mentioned before so she's not a catfish i guess she's just scared i won't accept her as she is or think she's not pretty enough maybe idk she's constantly saying she doesn't like that kind of thing and i don't like it myself to but we've been friends for so long I don't understand why she's so scared, but I can confirm to you that she's is hundred percent a girl and the fact that she says she's "busy" is because she's in her 18s at college taking programming classes which means she needs a lot of studying to get good grades.

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      • The girl in the instagram picture probably isnt her

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        • Man I give you so many points that She is a girl and you just focus on One think that I say, so you don't listen to people so thanks anyway for the comment but I Will no longer listen to you have a Nice year

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          • the irony in saying I dont listen. I never said she was not a girl. I said shes probably not the girl in the photos. Girls do this online alot. They send you a picture of a more attractive girl and claim its them. Thats why shes not going on camera. Never said she wasnt a girl but im 95% sure shes not the girl in the photo she sent to you.

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  • People lie all the time. Sure she was busy, busy cause she doesnt care about you like that.

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  • I'm old school, had a lot of things I was all set to say. Then I realized this is not an in-person relationship, It's Just a Phone or Keyboard Relationship.

    You really know nothing about this person. Meet and spend some time in person. Stay up all night with each other in-person. Most of your questions would have been answered with-in 2 or 3 months.

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  • People saying its catfish guy listen carfully ok and understand first I TALK TO HER FOR 3 YEARS, second he never send me any picture of her ever the ONLY picture that I have and I see its from her Instagram and with a good resarch on Google you can't find that picture and also in the picture She cover her face with the phone WHY A PERSON WHO WANTS DO CATFISH COVER HER WHONE FACE and thrid She can be shy people some Times don't like to show her face because have some fears or something but if guys insist so much I can Ask her but its just supid like why a 18 YEARS old girl who likes animes and games fucking do catfish like rly the picture its not of that tipe like super models or cute girls no its a very Basic photos so stop saying its catfish and say something more intresting for a Change thanks you ( and I know my English its very bad)

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  • It's OK to tell her that you love her; but, you also need to tell her that you will understand if she only sees you as a friend - and only wishes you to be a friend.

    There are also different kinds of love as well (sex is not love; but romantic love includes sex). There is also platonic love, and general love for people in general, etc.

    My lifelong best friend of 40+ years started out as a romantic dating for potential marriage. That did not immediately work out... but we still loved each other as people and were great friends. We actually romantically dated again decades later and again considered marriage. While we matched in so many ways... it was not a match in key areas... so we went back to just friends who loved each other in our hearts.

    My wife knows all about this friend, and has no problem with her or us spending private time or even trips together, and she knows that we both love each other even if we were not right for marriage. My wife is very happy that I actually have shown the maturity to maintain such a life long friendship.

    If your friend is not interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with you. Perhaps you should ask her if she knows of someone for you whom she things is suitable for you. Real friends will connect you.

    I wish you the best.

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    • Yes I perfectly understand her decision since I love her as much as her friendship and repects above all.

      I fully agree that sex is no way to love someone and I can say that the feelings I have are not related to that, as I want to hug her so mutch, be by her side, support her, knowing if she os okay on top of all, among other things, I even planned to offer her a special gift made by me that would be a snow globe repesenting where we met for the first time.

      I love your story of the relationship with your friend if nothing works out between me and my friend, I would love to keep that relationship also as two grown-up people.

      I likes the suggestion so I Will keep it in mundo possibly it Will help me if it doesn't work for her She is so nice to me so it Will be fine.

      I really appreciate the comment you made, I would also like to Ask if you think I should tell her that I love her personally ir because of the Covid online?

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      • I believe you need to tell her you love her, and even inlcude that its a love that does not require sex.

        It's always best to do so in person where you can see each others eyes, body language, hold hands, hug, etc.

        However, with Covid-19 there is some reason to be cautious. Are you currently getting together periodically in person? If so, then I would just do it then.

        If you are currently not seeing each other in real life due to Covid. Tell her that you would like to meet in person, and ask her what kind of protocols you would each need to follow to allow a personal meeting.

        I'm fully vaccinated and I do meet with people in real life again. It's a bit chilly outside for parks this time of year (currently 18 F); but there are places to meet for coffee or food.

        If she refuses to meet in person due to covid issues - the its best to use videoconferencing to tell her. At least you can see each other.

        I wish you well with this.

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  • Stop wasting your time on an obvious catfish. Grow up

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  • first of all girls prefers and wants more entertaining person so u have to always entertain her. and make her happy. and take some times to understand her feelings and make her comfort and directly ask to her about your feelings.

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  • If you don’t know whether she feels the same way, then she probably doesn’t. Work on meeting people irl instead

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    • Ya maybe you are right on that She most likely not intrested at me, but don't say like im not meeting real people She is real like everyone and I have other friends and also its hard for me to comunicate with people
      Thanks for the advice anyway have a Nice year

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