It it normal to be this inexperienced

So I’m 17 and I feel very disconnected from people my age. I watch shows about high school and don’t relate at all. I’ve never had sex, dated, kissed, or even held hands with anyone. It’s not that I don’t want to, just no one has ever showed any interest in me. Which I believe led me to crippling body image issues, but another topic. I’ve also never smoked anything or drank alcohol. Again it’s not that I don’t want to, I just don’t have any friends. Before anyone says I’m lucky, I do have boundaries. I would only smoke weed, and wouldn’t drink that often. It’s for just for fun then to fill a void or hide from emotions. I just feel like I’m missing out on being a teen.

Is It Normal?
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  • It's normal to be 17 and inexperienced with sex and relationships.

    Shows are not indicative of reality in the slightest.

    There is absolutely zero need to rush these kinds of things and there is no shame in being a virgin.

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  • Why is everyone on this site so dramatic?

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  • What kind of shows about high school do you watch? :-) Some TV shows portray a very distorted view of reality.

    Like this show Thirteen Reasons Why makes it look like all the cool kids are doing hard drugs and that prostitution is common and that kids just typically run around school with guns and shove broomsticks up each other's asses in the school bathroom.... None of that could be further from the truth. TV makes high school look super edgy and like this dramatic place where everything happens...

    When in reality school is extremely boring and nothing ever happens except you learn, read books, and pass exams.

    If you want to be more involved in school life, you can participate more. Join a club. Go to school events. Go to parties. Talk to people. I assure you, a lot of kids feel just as awkward as you. Try to connect with them on the things you do outside of school. Talk about the video-games you play. Talk about your hobbies. Ask them about their hobbies. Invite classmates to go do something together after school: you can game together, or play basketball or soccer or whatever it is that you do.

    If there's a girl or boy you like, don't hesitate to ask them out. Try to do this in a place where others can't see. This puts less pressure on the girl. She can always say no. Don't ask her out in front of a crowd of people (that is awkward and puts her on the spot). A lot of girls just want to be asked out on a date, but no one ever asks. You can be the exception to the rule. Try talking to her casually first, about school... And then, if that goes well, and you find her alone in the hallway or something, ask her out. Make it clear that it's a date. Keep asking and eventually someone will say yes.

    Hell, you can even go out on several different dates before you choose the person you want to be in a relationship with. (Reverse genders if you aren't into girls.) But yeah, you get my point? Try. Keep trying. Put yourself out there. Engage with people.

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    • For me, especially during the pandemic, I lost all my friends. I’ve lost all my social skills I built up over the years. I’m nurodivergent so I’m horrible at making friends, and have social and generalized anxiety disorder. On top of that all it’s so embarrassing that i’ve never dated anyone. I haven’t liked anyone in years and no one’s ever gave me the impression they liked me. I do hear about parties, but not from people talking to me. When you’re a “loner” it’s like you’re not even there. They’ll talk about whatever. Even say rude things about me when I’m right there. As for shows I’ve watched Euphoria and Grand Army, which were suppose to be more accurate. I can’t say about the accuracy for boys, but for the girls it’s not accurate at all. At least for me.

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  • You're not missing out. Teenagers are not supposed to have sex, that is an ADULT behaviour. FOR ADULTS.
    I am 25 and have never held hands, kissed or had sex either, but neither have I ever been drunk or done drugs. So I'd say you're even more experienced than me. Don't believe in this false Hollywood BS that they feed us that teenagers all have to be fucking and kissing each other, it's gross. And it's immoral.

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    • Okay but it does start somewhere... It's okay to start dating, holding hands, hugging and kissing in high school. Not everyone has sex, and the step from just dating to sex... is a very big step. So it takes time. People ease into it. If you don't want to date anyone, that is okay. But if you want to go on dates as a teenager, that is okay, too.

      I agree that drinking and smoking is for adults, not for kids. Depending on the laws, kids wouldn't even be allowed to drink at that age. Maybe the laws are different where OP lives. I don't know.

      And yes, movies dramatize everything, so they don't look realistic at all.

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      • Thinks that kids can kiss and hold hands
        Calls me a creep for having a crush on a ghost.
        I'm just gonna block you for your hypocrisy and idiocy.

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      • no it's not, not unless you are 16 or over.

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