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30 year old woman flirting with a 22 year old and asking him out. Them dating and then getting engaged when he's 26 and she's 34.
Is that brainwashing because she got with a 22 year old when she was 30? 22 is barely out of teenage years so if a 30 year old woman flirts with a 22 year old man isn't that brainwashing him to get with her because he's so young?
| Yes | 5 | |
| No | 25 |
It's not brainwashing, but it's possible that an older person might seek out a younger person in hopes of trying to mold that younger person into what they want in a partner, and I for one think that is a predatory behavior. I think there are more older men with younger women than younger men with older women. Older men who have hit on me in my life have pretty much always disgusted me, but I've been blessed in that younger guys have generally asked me out. Ideally I don't think it's appropriate to go with someone who is more than five years older, or younger than me, Ive never really been attracted to anyone more than one, or two years older than me. The thought of a man twenty years older than me being interested in me for anything more than strictly platonic friendship truly disgusts me, and I have felt this way for the entirety of my adult life.
A lot of this is a matter of perspective of course when I was 20, or 21 I thought 40 year old men were old, and gross, but now at 52 years of age a guy who is 40 is young to me. Regardless I'm not a fan of extreme differences in age, but I don't think eight years is especially bad, it's not ideal, but it's not bad.
Someone who's twenty-two is "barely out of teenage years"? I'm curious at what age you believe someone is definitely no longer suffering the lingering effects of their teenage years. When they're thirty? Forty? How about fifty?
The person here who definitely sounds like a teenager is yourself. Teens are often obsessed with their age, and they frequently believe that an age difference of just a single year is of enormous importance in a relationship. It hardly ever is.
These two people are not a pair of walking birthdays; they're two people who have the right to seek happiness with whoever the hell they feel like. She didn't groom him when he was a preteen or any such shit. They met when he was considered an adult by every legal standard, they've apparently been together for several years, and you say nothing about her hauling him off and locking him up in a cellar against his will for several years.
Frankly, it sounds like you're either jealous as fuck or seriously immature and stuck on believing that there are hard and fast rules about age differences in relationships. If neither of these people are you, then crank your huge nose in, stop being so damned petty and judgemental and let them get on with their lives.
The most important question here is..
Is it actually anyone else's business?
They were of legal age and they obviously have feelings for each other, if it's right for them then that's all that matters.
I dont see anything wrong with it. I was living with a 32 year old chic when I was 17
It’s an eight year age gap...it’s not even eyebrow raising, let alone brainwashing.
Get a grip.
My friend is 32 and dating a 24 year old guy. She was seeing an 18 year old when she was 30 or 31 but it didn't last long because the guy was immature. Honestly as long as a relationship is legal and consensual all that really matters is if they're genuinely happy together.