Is my family normal
Okay so I feel like my life is a lie.
I am not usually a very open person, but I had a VERY in depth and personal conversation with some very close friends yesterday and I'm a little confused.
So we talked about our families like a lot and they kept telling me the things I was saying are "not normal" and I always thought they were. So here's a laundry list of the alleged abnormal things. Please help.
-Cursing at/insulting your kids
my parents have always done this (not in public) and I thought it was pretty standard.
-When I was little if we were in a public and I was getting on their nerves my mom would pull out a couple pieces of my hair to get me to stop. Is this not standard?
-All kids in our family were required to play piano plus one other instrument, sing in choir, play a sport in each season, and get all A's as the bare minimum.
-As the oldest I was required to provide child care for my younger siblings whenever it was asked, and I was never paid.
-We were never allowed to close our bedroom doors or be in any room with the door closed.
-I was the primary cook in the family from age 9 until I moved out.
-Parents would mock and make fun of me often to the point of tears and then get angry and punish me for crying. Thought it was just me being over sensitive though?
-Would blame me for things I had no recollection of doing but I thought I just remembered wrong, or sometimes when I asked them about something they had said would claim to have never said it. Again, maybe I just remembered wrong?
-Would say homophobic and transphobic slurs in private and then laugh at me for getting offended and call me those slurs and ask if I was a f** or a t****y. But then would claim to be super accepting. I actually am gay, but they still don't know.
-Made me drink with them from a young age. Whenever it was any holiday or birthday mom would make me drink with her and my dad, often to the point of me getting sick. This started when I was about 7. Also, she said that as a baby, she used to dip carrots in bourbon for me to chew on so I would "shut the fuck up and go to sleep."
-Whenever I would bring up a concern, my mom would start crying and tell me I was horrible for treating her like that. I only did this twice, once when I asked her to stop swearing at my little brother and once when I said I didn't know if I would have time to bike to the grocery store and pick something up. But I thought it was my fault and that I said something wrong.
I could go on, but I won't. Also there are some mannerisms I have that are also "not normal", my friends think may be related to the above situations.
-I say sorry after almost every sentence
-I cry when people raise their voices
-I flinch at almost any movement or loud noise, sudden or anticipated
-I am so tense that my GP told me my entire back feels like solid rock lol
I still think that those are just weird traits I happen to have, and that my family is normal, and wanted to confirm with an outside source. Thanks! Have a nice day!