Is it rude to send invites to a wedding you KNOW people can't attend

Here's the scenario. An American is having a wedding in an expensive part of Europe and invites their average-poor American friends and relatives. Nobody showed up except the mother.

I can't decide if it's more rude to send invitations knowing that most or all can't come or if it would be too rude to not send invitations at all.

I think just having the wedding so far away, in a very expensive location as well, and even remotely expecting anyone to come is extremely stupid, but whatever!

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  • It's nice to receive an invitation. I've never been insulted by one

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  • Would it be more rude to not send an invitation and justify it by saying "well they couldn't afford to come anyway"? Just because you get a wedding invitation, even if it is just across town, does not mean that you have to attend. But the courtesy is that you are saying to that person "If you can make it, I would like you to come and celebrate my wedding with me." That is what the RSVP card is for. You return the card and say I would love to attend but I can't because (insert reason or excuse here).

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  • The way you are going about this is weird. If you actually cared about your average/poor friends you would want them to attend and either have a more suitable wedding or pay for their trip.

    But I know it is your wedding day so you want to do the dream wedding.

    In this scenario, you have to opt for a smaller guest list. It sounds like you are okay with most of the guest not showing up, so why invite them in the first place? If you want to have a small get-away wedding, then do it. Don't send out a ton of invites to people you don't even need to be there.

    You CAN have a separate/small celebration back home for everyone.

    Go to Europe with a couple relatives for destination-wedding, then plan a small celebration of your marriage when you get back.

    Lots of people opt for small/destination weddings, and it's not rude. Other people may try to say "you should have had the wedding here so I could have come" but they have to understand it's your dream wedding and they should support what you want.

    I am poor among poor and it's pretty darn heartbreaking to get an invite to a wedding from someone that says "Formal, No kids, etc" When you're a poor family with 6 kids and can't afford to rent a suit. It really makes you feel like they don't need you there so why did they send an invite in the first place... very superficial and un-caring.

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  • Perfectly normal. The invite is a gesture towards people you know won't show up, including extended family. When I got married, I hated (still do) my one uncle, but, invited him just to say, I sent the invite, it was you who didn't show up. Same with my wife's asshole brother. I wanted no part of his obnoxious ass in my house, but knew, as he lived 3000 miles away, he'd never make the trip. Same thing. Sent the invite, knowing he'd never say yes.

    Travel aside, my wife invited her bitch but HOT office manager, thinking she'd decline, but..The hot blonde showed up at the reception, dressed to kill (and kinda of like a hooker..all the guys were swarming around her). I didn't care if she showed up either way, but did think..You're the branch manager and making good bonus every month..And all your cheap ass could afford was a stupid candle set?

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  • I think you're over thinking this matter.

    I have a cousin who had a wedding in Hawaii over a decade ago. My immediate family didn't go, and sometimes I wish we had, but it was not in our budget to make such a trip. The funny thing is after all the fuss and expense he ended up having to dump her for cheating on him with a guy she met online after just five years of his life wasted with her nasty ass. I feel bad for my cousin and his ordeal, but in retrospect I hope they followed the tradition where it's the responsibility of the bride's family to pay for the wedding. All that money wasted for a skank cheating whore to get married. I never asked my cousin, but I certainly hope he got the ring back.

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  • I think the rudest thing is having the wedding somewhere you know not many people can afford to get to. Seems very selfish and shallow. Like they're more concerned with having an exotic wedding album than sharing the joy of the day with loved ones.
    Well done capitalism!

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    • Perhaps the American has a European spouse-to-be, and that's why they chose to marry there. Perhaps they just live there for a different reason.

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