Is it polite to decline money when people offer?

Someone offers to pay your flight (or whatever it is) you know that would be great and a huge help. But you say no no, and they say no I want to do it and then you say I couldn’t accept such a big thing you need that (and maybe they do need it) , and they go just take it I want to help , and then you go I’m okay I’ve got money (even though you don’t) then they say okay , then your a little sad because you kind of wish you had takin up the offer because you do actually need help. Lol.

I guess the question beyond the one I asked above is , should you decline big gifts because you feel like too much of a free loader even if you do kind of need the help? I feel like I do this all the time.

Recent example, my mother offered to pay my flight cost that I paid to visit for Christmas, but she works so hard and for so little , she’d basically be giving me her whole paycheck , I declined even though I’m strapped for cash and really am having a tough time getting by.

Comment what you would do in that example I gave.

No 1
Yes 1
Other 3
Earn your own way, refuse help from all always 4
It can be good to refuse sometimes especially if it’s the same person helping you out 12
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 17 )
  • shuggy-chan

    Most of the times my customers want to tip me, they are the people that don’t have alot of money (elderly, fixed income)

    And I always decline or deflect it (tell them to donate it to a food bank or charity for me)

    But if they really insist on you taking it, then just take it. Or you run the risk of offending them

    And put the money i do get aside so when i have another customer that has trouble paying the bill i can use the tip money to help them

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • charli.m

      That's really sweet. Old people have it rough.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
  • charli.m

    Really depends. I think you made the right choice in your situation, though. Even though your cash flow isn't great, and I'm sure your mother was genuine in her offer, it sounds like she would be more inconvenienced by bearing the cost.

    But it still sucks for you to be financially tight for however long you will be after the cost.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • BlindSpot

    I also tend to decline "big gifts." And the truth is, thank God I was able to do without them, and even if I did take someones help, I'd feel really indebted to them! No, thank you

    The situation with your mom - She's old, her days of taking care of your expenses are over. So it's good that you declined the offer.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Nicole20

    Give them one out, if they offer again take it.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Cuntsiclestick

    Sometimes customers want to tip me for smiling, being helpful and "bubbly". I usually thank them, tell them I appreciate it, decline it, tell them I'm not allowed to take tips, and apologise. The managers here don't care if I take tips, but I don't trust people. I feel like they'll think they did me a favor and expect me to owe them later or something. XD

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • raisinbran

      There is always a hidden cost to accepting gifts. You are smart to refuse.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • Cuntsiclestick

        Thank you.
        :)

        Comment Hidden ( show )
    • RoseIsabella

      I once had a lady offer to send me a lobster when I worked in customer service/technical support. I thanked her, but declined her generous offer of large crustacean.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • Golden dover

        Comment Hidden ( show )
      • Cuntsiclestick

        A lobster? That's pretty cool.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
          -
        • RoseIsabella

          Yep. I don't think I could boil a lobster myself.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
            -
          • Cuntsiclestick

            Me neither. I'd feel bad for the poor thing. XD

            Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Indigobloom1

    For me personally I always decline even when I am really struggling. I just feel extremely bad about someone offering me money

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Boojum

    My mother-in-law just gave us £2,500 (roughly $3,000) for Christmas. She's financially secure and can easily spare the money, while our finances are stretched for reasons relating to a natural disaster. We just bought a new house and the money will allow us to do things we want to do to the house sooner rather than later, so we accepted the gift with thanks. The money isn't going to change our relationship with her, and she knows it will be used to make the house nicer for her granddaughter (who's really the most important person in the world for her now).

    When I was young, pride made me refuse gifts that would have made life easier for me and also made the giver happy. I still won't accept gifts if I think there are strings attached, but I gave up being too proud a long time ago.

    As for whether you should have accepted your mother's offer of paying for your flight, only you can say if that was the right thing to do. If you know the only reason you're strapped for cash is because you spend most of your income on booze and whores, while she's working her fingers to the bone in a chicken processing plant, then you were probably right to feel guilty about accepting the offer. If you really are doing the best you can, and you know she was desperate to have you with her for Christmas, then maybe the right thing to do would have been to let her cover part of the cost of your travel.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • curious-bunny

    Hell no if someone wants me to visit them they can damn well pay my flight. Im broke, make min wage gotta save for college and transitioning theu can pay my way to them. Not egen ashamed about it

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Mrown

    Which example? You gave two, one fictional and one that actually happened. Also, which question are we supposed answer? The one in the title or the one in the post?

    Comment Hidden ( show )