Is it normal to syke myself out of every relationship i am in?

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7 Comments

So here is the deal... Anytime a girl shows interest in me I end up going through every possible scenario in my head and syking myself out to the point that I will start avoiding them and dogding their calls just to make sure I dont have to see them, as I expect myself to fail. I am extremely shy, get shaky, heart races, palms sweat, and cant think anytime im around a girl im attracted to. I'm in my mid 20's, I've always been shy, but not to the point that I cant function. I've had girlfriends, and a lot of people would even say I'm a very attractive man. I used to be a model for christ sakes. Once I quit a job just so I didnt have to see this girl who asked me out on a date again. My question I guess is this... Does anyone else do this? and if so, why am I doing this? Why cant I just calm down and quit being so afraid of rejection that probably isnt even going to happen?

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Based on 147 votes (74 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • popperpop
    11 years ago

    I've done it, make up scenarios in my head about things (relationships and otherwise) but what makes this abnormal is that you're letting it completely ruin many great aspects of your life, it's self destructive.

    Change your thinking, remember that many things are only 'weird' if you 'make-them-weird.' So just remember what has happened instead of what could happen, then take it from there. And the same statement of making things weird goes for if you run into someone you dated or whatnot.
    You have to tell yourself to focus on the positive. And if you used to be a model, I have a funny feeling that the girls you run into that used to date you may be feeling just as nervous (if not more) than you are

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  • ChemGirl
    11 years ago

    To arandromfella:

    I don't know the age of the women you date. If they are in their teens or early twenties, then it may be merely a case of immaturity. Yet, regardless of age, most of the women I've known really grow-up when they have a child.

    This may not sound reassuring. Yet, you should give a chance to every woman you think about loving...or you will never find one. Some women are afraid to tell you that they want to "better themselves." Who wants to point out their own faults?

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  • Unimportant
    11 years ago

    Sounds familiar... rejecting people as soon as I see that they are not perfect.

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  • Short4Words
    11 years ago

    I don't know to be honest. I used to do the same thing all the time, every time I was close to entering a relationship I would find a reason not to, or I would let one thing ruin it. I don't know if any of them are meant to be, but I'm started to question myself, how would I ever know. I'm just as lost as you buddy.

    But something I was wondering what are your real hesitations? Do you feel like you aren't capable of loving any of these girls?

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  • NDKilla
    11 years ago

    Totally normal, after getting dumped by girlfriend, I kind of started avoiding girls I thought might be into me.
    Then like 5 months later I met this one girl and a lot of my friends kept bugging me telling me to ask her out, I didn't want to because I didn't want her to say no or for the relationship to end like my previous one.
    After knowing her a while I finally asked her out, we've currently been dating 4.5 months and I'm happy I didn't keep avoiding her.

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  • americanhoney
    11 years ago

    "Syke" = wrong

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  • arandomfella
    11 years ago

    I just dont love them all of the time I guess? Sometimes I just get this like anger for the way people are deep inside. I feel like people should try to be better people and I guess most of the girls I've dated just ended up to be self serving and wouldnt look at the big picture. I dont want someone who I dont think is truly a good person raising my children, you know?

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