Is it normal to no longer love your dog? (anxiety & depression)

11 Comments

The dog started off as a family dog, but became my sole responsibility when I moved out on my own in mid 2019. It was partially my decision to get him, but my life/situation was a lot different back then. Whenever it comes to this dog I am constantly irritated and miserable. I loved him for the first 2 years of having him in my life but I can't seem to feel those emotions for him anymore. I have realized that getting him back them was a huge mistake.

For a bit of background on myself, I've suffered with depression (at some point attempting to end my own life) since I was in middle school. As a junior in college I still battle with it as well as anxiety from stress working 30hrs/wk-full-time as a full-time student. I deal with these things at some seasons a lot better than others, but I still manage to function and have a "productive" life. But what I've come to realize in the past year is that my dog exacerbates these problems.

My apartment constantly stinks (duh, GSDs are not apartment dogs), there is hair on the floor every time I look down regardless of the shampoos, food, supplements, brushing that I've tried, I can't afford him anymore and have to ask my parents for help when he needs something besides food, I don't have time to give him a good life, and consequently he makes me feel so trapped and burdened. For the first year in this apt I kept him in my bedroom while I was out, but due to a certain behavior that I tried so hard to correct, I had to move him into the living room where I no longer spend time in peace due to the smell and constant whining/being stared at. I feel none of these things would be an issue if I still lived with my family and in a house, I would just keep him outdoors for most of the day.

Getting this dog was my older brother's idea back in 2017. I agreed to it practically immediately as an 18yo who wanted something to grow our family even closer. At this point, I believe it was the worst decision I have ever made. Now alone on my own, he only makes me more irritable and anxious every day. These emotions have grown for a whole year now and I don't know what else to do. My dad loves the dog, but my mom would NEVER let the dog back into her house. I don't want my dad to be disappointed in me nor for him or anyone else to think that I'm a shitty person. I used to love him but for a year now he's made me into someone I wouldn't have recognized 2 years ago.

What do I do about this? I don't want the dog anymore (he's 3 1/2 now), his life sucks because I keep him confined most days, and I can't seem to see any of this changing. I've said that I hate him at some point, but I think hate insinuates that I could care less what happens to him. I want him out of my life and into a much better home. He has mild behavioral issues that most people could handle. Just not me. Even on days where I'm in a good mood, interacting with him dampens that. I've thought about taking meds but I really do feel fine outside of dealing with him.

He used to be my pride and joy, but now I fantasize about no longer having him.

I know this is not normal...advice please?

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Comments ( 11 )
  • Cuntsiclestick
    3 years ago

    I suggest you look up some rescue groups or animal shelters that can take your dog in.

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  • Schizotravestie
    3 years ago

    you don't leave a dog alone in a garden.
    a dog must walk at least 3 times a day for at least 30 minutes. he must also have a sociable life.
    if you don't do that it is abuse. this dog must have been in pain for years. you're lucky the dogs aren't aggressive. you would have done that with a human you would probably be dead.
    if you don't do this, it's normal for him to spend his time looking at you, doing silly things and crying.

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  • bbrown95
    3 years ago

    As someone who has been through something somewhat similar, only with a horse, I do think it's best you find another home for the dog. Would your older brother be able to take the dog?

    I think there is no shame in giving up an animal if you know it isn't right for you or you are unable to care for it. I know a lot of people think it's the worst thing ever, but as someone who has rescued animals who were starved and neglected due to their owners refusing to give them up when they really needed to, I think it's much better to give up the animal. Even if it isn't a matter of being unable to care for it and it's more about it not being a good fit, I don't think there's any shame in realizing that and finding the animal a better fit. As long as you're not the type to constantly get animals only to get rid of them and repeat the cycle, I don't think there's anything wrong with it.

    When I had my last horse, I had lost most (if not all) interest in riding quite awhile ago, it seemed like a chore, but I felt like I had a responsibility to at least keep this horse for the rest of his life. It was financially straining, I was constantly stressed about it all the time, and finally just had to say "enough". I was lucky enough to have family who wanted him, so it worked out, but it was a hard decision for me. To be honest, I think I waited way longer than I should have, to the point to where it was making me miserable and I had already spent so much money I could've saved instead.

    As for your depression and anxiety, have you sought help for these things?

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    • Pinkpencil
      3 years ago

      Thank you for giving sincere advice.
      Unfortunately my older brother still lives with my parents...If/when I decide to rehome my dog I will do what I can to avoid leaving him at a shelter. I want the dog to actually have a good life and I can't give him that.

      I have sought help in the past, but I have no intentions of getting on meds just to be able to deal with a dog. I want to focus my time and energy on getting myself in better shape mentally overall, and I am trying to work on that holistically.

      Thank you for sharing your personal story as well.

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      • bbrown95
        3 years ago

        I'm glad you care so much about ensuring your dog has a good life! I don't blame you for not wanting to get on meds just to make a situation work that isn't, as I've been on SSRIs in the past that really screwed with me and don't think they're worth it if they're not absolutely needed.

        No problem, I am glad I could help!

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  • unpoopularonion
    3 years ago

    Kinda normal, dogs are disgusting and a pain in the ass. Not normal to keep an animal you hate, and not normal to not be able to integrate basic tasks into your life due to depression. Either seek professional help (prescription meds) or just drink until the bad thoughts are gone.

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  • raisinbran
    3 years ago

    Figure out how to love your dog again.

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  • Schizotravestie
    3 years ago

    «Je le garderais juste dehors la plupart de la journée."
    un chien n'est pas un meuble de jardin!

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  • Imafriendyrock
    3 years ago

    You say you keep him confined most of the day. Plz tell me its not in one of those tiny cages.

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    • Pinkpencil
      3 years ago

      No, not at all. In fact, he hasn't been kenneled since he grew out of his puppy kennel around 3 years ago. I meant confined to the small living room.

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      • Imafriendyrock
        3 years ago

        Oh ok thats not that bad. I get annoyed with my cats too but luckily I can just lock them downstairs for half the day. Dogs are even more annoying to me. They lick themselves all the time and thats the absolute most annoying thing in the world to listen to. I cant stand the noises. I would sell the dog to a chinese restaurant.

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