Is it normal to keep my ttc to myself without involving my partner?

0% Normal
6 Comments

My husband and I are trying to get pregnant. We have talked about it, we both want it, we are trying. I am tacking to conceive and feel slightly obsessed with this. I track my cycle, take ovulation test, do a lot of reading and I ensure we do the deed as often as possible and when we need to. I’m not hiding any of this from my husband but I also don’t share this information with him. I don’t tell him I’m ovulating, or in my window or even when I take pregnancy tests. I just feel I’m already obsessing over this enough he doesn’t need to be worried about it to. Is it normal to do the TTC on my own or should I be making him aware/sharing my tracking app with him?

Voting Results
0% Normal
Based on 4 votes (0 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 6 )
  • have_a_good_day
    3 years ago

    at this rate that nigga will get pregnant before you do. stop trying to force nature.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    3
    3
  • [Old Memory]
    3 years ago

    Think how magical it would be for both of you if you both know the work that went into conceiving a child

    You may not want to tell everything, but keeping him in the loop with some of it wouldn't make you feel like you're driving yourself crazy

    You could even make it fun, like subtly telling him you're ovulating

    Now I've seen love children and I've seen accidents, and while I don't know everything love children seem healthier and happier. Don't let all this stress be what your future child is conceived in

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • Boojum
      3 years ago

      "Now I've seen love children and I've seen accidents, and while I don't know everything love children seem healthier and happier."

      I'm sure you appreciate that that's a sweeping generalisation.

      I think the real distinction is between children who are wanted and those who aren't, and there is such a thing as a happy accident. Many children who were unintentionally conceived are loved and cherished (my daughter is one of those kids). Conversely, there are unfortunately a lot of parents who profoundly regret ever deciding that they wanted to have a child because they learn too late that they can't cope with the reality of being a parent. It's also entirely possible to love your spouse or partner deeply, but to dislike the child the two of you have produced or even see them as an intrusion that has ruined a previously happy life.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • [Old Memory]
        3 years ago

        That's kinda what I meant, since in both cases a love child and accident are unplanned. You defined it better than me though

        And really what I was getting at with the OP, is not to be too impacted by the goal of becoming pregnant; stress isn't good for the body and it probably doesn't help her situation

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        1
        1
  • Boojum
    3 years ago

    This is a judgement call only you can make since only you know your husband and how your relationship works.

    I can see how, if you let him know how obsessive you are, it's possible he might start to think - maybe just subconsciously - that he's nothing more than a sperm-dispenser who's required to perform his duty when you're at the moment of peak-fertility.

    I often agree with Swick's opinions, but I don't think that him being disinterested in the technical details would necessarily mean he's not interested in becoming a father. If that were to be his response to you sharing more, it could be that he just sees that side of things as being your department since it's your body.

    I do agree with Swick that if your current efforts don't succeed, then it will be vital for him to be fully committed and involved if you should need some sort of medical assistance in order to conceive.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • SwickDinging
    3 years ago

    Your husband has agreed he wants a baby and is actively trying to get you pregnant. You aren't hiding it. You're just not sharing the whole experience with him. Wouldn't it be better if he knew about all of this too? Some people really struggle to conceive and if it comes to that then it takes involvement from both partners.

    I think you should give him the chance to get involved in all of this. If he isn't interested then I would take it as a sign that he isn't that interested in being a Dad. Don't turn into one of those women who is married but still ends up doing all the child rearing alone. It's a lot of work.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0