Is it normal to hold grudges over “eye contact”?

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12 Comments

Seems like I still have mad or upset feelings of people from my past who for whatever reason or when we were talking or having a conversation “Didn’t look me in the eye”?? Is that normal? I mean, I guess the world doesn’t revolve around me, if people want to look at things besides me, I understand, but I would say if you were actually talking to me face to face, I would expect that person to make some kind of eye contact with me? Just need input: Yes, this is normal behavior or No, don’t be mad over little things, not normal behavior.

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Based on 9 votes (0 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • 1WeirdGuy
    1 year ago

    I have to remind myself to look away from ppl when theyre talking because I always end up staring at their eyes thd whole time like a psycho

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    • Ligeia
      1 year ago

      The autistic stare

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      • Meatballsandwich
        1 year ago

        Nah, we autists don't like eye contact for the most part.

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        • Ligeia
          1 year ago

          I know, that's why some autists consciously overcompensate and end up staring at you directly for an uncomfortably long time

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  • bigbudchonger
    1 year ago

    It's more common than you might think. He could have not been looking at you for any number of reasons, anxiety, he was focusing on something around him, something was his mind, etc.

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  • ibrokemyds
    1 year ago

    Some people find eye contact stressful and uncomfortable. It’s a thing with autistic people but some non-autistic people find it weird.

    But either way it’s not normal to hold a long-time grudge over it, no matter what the circumstances are. And that’s coming from someone who’s held grudges for over a decade. If that’s all they’ve done wrong then you’re being sensitive.

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  • libertybell
    1 year ago

    I had a therapist who kept nagging me because I couldn't make eye contact. He wouldn't stop bugging me about it. He said that it meant that I didn't trust him. Years later,I find out I'm on the autism spectrum.

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    • bigbudchonger
      1 year ago

      Sounds like a bad therapist. I can get him trying to make you work on your eye contact, but not saying that you didn't trust him because of it.

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  • Tommythecaty
    1 year ago

    My eyes are mischievous with just a hint of sinister.

    I’ll hold a grudge just based on your holding a grudge.

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  • RoseIsabella
    1 year ago

    Good eye contact is important to me.

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  • kikilizzo
    1 year ago

    For some people eye contact is very distressing.
    I have autism and I look people in the eye to be polite, but due to that I miss most of what they're saying because I can't focus on both those things at the same time. So not sure how polite it is to do something that makes it so that I am not paying attention to anything you're saying, but at least it looks normal right. That's what usually matters the most to typical people, that things look right.

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  • KholatKhult
    1 year ago

    I used to have a nasty attitude around what I considered to be impolite/sloppy mannerisms. I didn’t like when people mumbled, or dodged eye contact, or shifted around when speaking, or jumped their words around. It drove me crazy to the point I would bark a “speak up” “stand still” “look at me” to whoever wasn’t ‘behaving’ the way I thought they should.

    It’s an impatient and aggressive attitude to carry, and I think it’s a hard one to kick. You should absolutely refrain from mentioning it, some people have social anxieties and haven’t gotten past them or simply don’t care to. Just kind of have to accept that.

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