Is it normal to have racial preferences?

I’m very concerned because I told someone I was interested in years ago who happened to be black that I had a slight preference for blacks and asians, but was still interested in other races and ultimately didn’t really impact much. I’m white, for context. He didn’t seem to be upset at the time but I’m not sure if that’s changed. Now remembering the conversation years later makes me very uneasy because I’m concerned I sounded like I was just boiling everything down to his race and that was the only reason why I was attracted to him. Was I doing that? I don’t really exclude other races since if I’m in love with someone I don’t think it should ultimately matter but I’m really worried about veering into fetish territory. It’s not like I’m gonna avoid interracial relationships if I do fall in love with someone of another race because that’d be stupid but I’m really worried about making potential partners uncomfortable and I really want to fix that. I don’t want to fall into the other extreme and walk on eggshells either.

Is It Normal?
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  • Yes it's ok to have a racial preference. I am not going to tell you off for liking a different races.

    For e.g. I am a black person who likes white people, people think I am a weirdo and they often looked down on me for having a preference.

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  • Love and care for the person you are with at that time,
    if you have a preference for whatever reason its perfectly normal, whether its colour, tall, short, thin, muscled, long haired, musician or office worker.
    I don't really understand why you might tell them of your preference anyway, just enjoy their time and company and treat each person as an individual.

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    • It wasn’t particularly directed towards them and at the time I didn’t realize the connotations or anything. I have a really hard time grasping social cues. And it was already kind of on the topic of that anyways.

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  • I have a preference to dark skinned people, but would honestly take any person that genuinely loves me for me

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  • Think of it this way, a skin color preference is no different than a hair color preference. Nobody would make a big fuss if someone said they were more into blondes, or brunettes, or redheads. Race, skin color — really what these are, for the most part, are it’s preferences regarding looks. No different than tall vs short, chubby vs thin, or whatever.

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  • It's a preference. As long as it's not based upon a stereotype of the person because of their race, it's not racist.

    I skew my preferences more towards white, probably because I am white. As long as I agree with the person the race doesnt matter.

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  • Everyone has preferences, what’s important is that you do not let these preferences cause you to treat people unfairly.

    Do you prefer black and asian people because of their appearance ? Or because of a stereotype ?
    I know some dudes get into that trend of liking Asian women because they think they are ‘submissive’ - that, is gross behavior.
    But if it’s just appearance, that’s just how preferences work.

    But really, there’s no need to vocalize your preference at all. If you go on a date with a white guy, it would be rude to say “You’re hot ! For a white guy atleast” and it may rub people filling if you full out “I’m glad you’re black” them

    I avoid explaining my “type” to anyone for this exact reason
    If your partner doesn’t fit one of your “type traits” they will feel insecure and hyperfixate on it. And if you tell them that certain of their traits is one of your niches they’ll think “oh you only like me for my xyz”

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