Is it normal to hate knowing about ocd?

79% Normal
2 Comments

Hi. 3 month ago I was really stressed and get depressive thoughts about death of my family, then started looking it up in the internet and convinced myself that I have OCD. Then I saw the doctor who said it's not actually OCD, but reaction to the stress, but I never told her about my compulsions throughout my life, I told her only about the thoughts that bothered me. These stressful thoughts has gone as soon as I rest properly.But the thing now is that as I remembered I always wanted to touch my body symmetrically, for example If i touch me left knee I should touch my right, or if I scrab my right hand I should scrab my left hand. And I really kinda like it, it never bothered me because I thought it's just me, it's my thing and I enjoyed doing it, sometimes I did it, sometimes I forcefully didn't do it but feel little bit awkward for minute, but still enjoyed that I can say stop myself doing it. Now, when I read a lot about OCD,this urges really worsen 100 times, because now I think I have OCD and whenever I touch something I feel that my brain telling me it is OCD so touch another part, so I don't enjoy it anymore and this touching really worsen. I also have thoughts about harming people, but It was really funny and I laugh about myself counciosly, because I knew that I am really kind person. Now when I know that these thoughts are OCD related it drives me crazy.. Hate that I ever looked for the symptoms on the internet and don't know what to do with myself now... I thought I am ready to live with this things all my life and enjoyed my life 100% because I thought I am really lucky not to suffer from any mental or physicall desease, but now knowing I have symmetrical OCD it drives me crazy..

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79% Normal
Based on 14 votes (11 yes)
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Comments ( 2 )
  • Shumacher
    11 years ago

    I've seen 3 different doctors, that are specialists in OCD and nobody told me that I have this disorder. I think I would be OK, if I didn't go to the internet looking for my symptoms:) There are at least 10 people in the forums who forced me to believe the thoughts are OCD related and as a result I had deep depression. But as doctors said it was not OCD, just reaction of my brain to the stress and they were right, the thoughts has gone away. Now when I have this touching habit for like 7 years, and really liked this habit because I thought I'm just a little bit different from others, and really enjoyed this touching, but never consider this thing as a OCD. But now, when I read a lot of posts about this symmetrical touching and OCD this became more tougher.. I'm not sure if I have OCD or it's just a habbit that I developed, but I think I would be fine going with my life without knowing what is it:)

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  • Love2Teach
    11 years ago

    Several members of my family have OCD - I've always had a touch of it as well. Have you considered seeing a different doctor? Perhaps one that is especially for OCD? I am on a medication for anxiety which has seemed to help my OCD. There is help out there for you :)

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