Is it normal to feel this way or am i sexist/homophobic?

86% Normal
14 Comments

Bare with me here theres a lot going on. So I identify as straight and for the most part this is true, I am a woman who is attracted to men, but VERY rarely I find a masculine woman who gets me going and i HATE it. I have many gay friends and support lgbt rights, and i used to blame my self hatred for these thoughts/desires on my catholic beliefs and upbringing. Also, I have a much easier time trusting men than women. However, after some soul searching I have somewhat found the root of my issue. I have never told a soul but in middle school I was sexually assaulted by a girl. I deeply repressed this. I realized this when a friend of mine was deatiling a sexual experience she had with her girlfriend and I was so uncomfortable that I had to leave. Would this be enough to give me my negative impression of women and fear of intimacy with them? Is this a normal reaction to my life experiences or is this some internalized homophobia?

Voting Results
86% Normal
Based on 43 votes (37 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • SwickDinging
    5 years ago

    This is a totally normal reaction, you aren't being homophobic, don't worry.

    What happened to you isn't normal though. Sorry to hear that, sounds rough

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  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    Sorry that happened to you

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  • WeirdGuyFromTheSouth
    5 years ago

    Its really normal to not want to be gay. Dont let these pc weirdos tell you its not normal. These weirdos also say a women is a man anytime it feels like it.

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    • Additional
      4 years ago

      first of all, your everywhere and always talk about how much you want to do anal with woman (yes I'm exposing you), your right about how it's normal to not want to be gay, but people can't change their sexualitys, it's not a choice, you call us weirdos, and being trans isn't a choice. I'm trans and if I didn't feel like this all my life, I wouldn't come out as a trans man.

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  • Imamesss
    5 years ago

    I find this completely normal! Since the same occurred to me, with a guy though. I’d distance myself from them even my own father and siblings.

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  • leggs91200
    5 years ago

    This reminds me of one summer at my aunt's house...

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  • hungDaddy
    5 years ago

    I think I just accidentally voted that it isn't normal, but what you're feeling is normal. Has nothing to do with homophobia. A girl hurt you, so you're scared. No different than me having a lack of trust for some kinds of men also due to sexual assault.

    Take care of yourself and find help if the emotions are bad enough. I'm sorry this happened to you.

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  • RoseIsabella
    5 years ago

    Have you ever sought counseling, or therapy to help you work through any issues you might have about the assault? How long ago did the assault happen? Maybe the statute of limitations hasn't run out yet? It might help you to report that awful bitch who assaulted you. Unfortunately it's not uncommon for people who are abused to seek reenact that trauma with other people. I think you need to seek out help, and to make sure you don't have any PTSD, or C-PTSD. Don't be in a rush to do anything sexual with anyone, especially other women, until you a have worked through these issues.

    Also filing a police report against the person who assaulted you can be empowering as well. Talk to a mental health professional as soon as possible. Don't go it alone with your trauma.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      All very valid points... We were both minors so I doubt anything would happen legally. Honestly I have not sought counseling for it, I’ve pretty much just started admitting to myself what happened. Thank you

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      • RoseIsabella
        5 years ago

        You are very welcome!

        I'm glad that you are able to admit to yourself what happened, and I hope you can get some help. Don't be afraid to get help. Be good to yourself, and love yourself. No one has the right to sexually assault anyone else.

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  • Ellenna
    5 years ago

    If you feel that experience is causing you problems now, find a sexual assault oounsellor, but don't label yourself in the meantime.

    It's common for women who've experienced sexual assault by males either as children or as adults to be triggered by specific actions, appearance, manner or even the smell of some men.

    It took me quite a lot of expert counselling to stop being triggered by vehicles similar to that driven by the man who raped me, men who even slightly resembled him or men wearing fluoro jackets.

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  • WarriorGene
    5 years ago

    There is no such thing as homophobia. I don't fear gays, gays fear me.

    Btw what you have is a deviation, not normality, but this doesn't mean you have to take action against it. It depends on what helps you in your own life. Normality is simply an indicator, among many other indicators that can point you certain directions.

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  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    Just do it with a women and release. Gotta be better then sitting there going crazy about it. 2019 priest probably just expect most women have experimented.

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  • Nikclaire
    5 years ago

    You're thinking way too much. One of the problems with all the diversity crap is that it's promoting guilt. You like what you like. There doesn't have to be a reason and it doesn't make you a homophobe, sexist, racist if you don't embrace everything and everyone with open arms.

    Just relax.

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