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Is it normal that I’m always feeling sad and depressed around my family? I feel like I’m the black sheep of the family, being around them they make me feel like I’m invisible or not here. I really want to move and move as far away from here as possible. Family isn’t really everything now that I think about it, all I feel is sadness when I’m around.
There are 2 kinds of Family: Biologic Family, and Life Family.
There are also no reasons to hang around anyone who is not emotionally supporting and uplifting.
Please find some Life Family friends who encourage you to do better in life and support you emotionally.
Then pretty much ignore and leave your biologic family behind.
I've got 7 brothers and sisters; and we all grew up in a negative household where we learned the art of tearing down each other and other people. I have not seen most of them in years except for a few minutes here and there.
I instead hang with my positive and supportive life family.
That very situation you have described is one of the reasons I spent my 20s constantly on the move.
If they are making you feel like a black sheep, then they are setting you up for life badly by causing you to accept a falsehood about yourself. Being conditioned to accept your place as a 'second class' person by default, is likely in turn have an impact on the treatment you tolerate from people outside of the family too, and how you regard them. Watch how you act around people and notice: do you get excluded or treated worse than other people? Do you think you deserve it, or that it's 'just the way things are'?
It is a LIE that you are 'less than' anyone else. We know that ALL human beings were created equal in dignity and rights, and nowhere in the great texts that we have come to respect in our civilisation, does it say "except [insert your name here]." If this thought arises in you, it has been drilled into you, and you have the authority to say NO to it. It's not just yourself whom you're doing a favour by not believing in it: it's the rest of the world too, in ways you might not be able to imagine right now.
I'd advise you to distance yourself from your family as soon as you can so that you can get a chance to un-learn some things you have passively picked up. A therapist is the best way to do this but if that's absolutely impossible for you, there are a few good therapists that put videos on YouTube. I stress that this is not a good replacement for an actual therapist. As a person needing therapy you are in a vulnerable position and it is hard to tell the real deal apart from the quacks with their pseudo-spiritual babble and their attempts to gratify your ego by with an exaggerated victimhood narrative that encourages defensiveness rather than taking responsibility. People with low self-esteem, a high tolerance for people's crap and a tendency to doubt their perceptions are easy to manipulate for likes, shares and cash.
I know we're not supposed to promote here, but I personally respect Kati Morton. I don't know her as a person or have any links to her whatsoever, but I wanted to recommend someone I trust to spare you from going through a sea of YouTube self-help quacks like a ship without a rudder.