Is it normal to feel emotionally disconnected to my family? (read desc.)

As of right now, I'm 20 years old and just recently self recovered from depression and anxiety through meditation and self reflection.

Growing up I don't recall my family being too close. The most vivid memories were of my father talking loudly and my mother leaving the house briefly to cool off during an argument or two. Nobody was abusive, but I remember more arguments than better memories although we own many photos of us as kids on the beach or something generic. I barely remember any memories, like I had no upbringing what-so-ever. It's like my memory is just "fresh" of adulthood only.

When I was around 12 my parents divorced. It struck me the hardest in the family, I remember crying in my bed asking if this was serious. To this day I feel as if most of my depression was rooted from my family and upbringing. I feel almost no connection towards my father and uncle but I'm much closer to my mother, as she was there most of my upbringing. I questioned that if my father were to pass away I wouldn't feel so depressed about it years to come, realistically probably a few months but I just feel as if I'd get over it quickly.

Many of my physical faults I also tend to blame on my family. My teeth were incredibly crooked and yellow stained because I wasn't ever taught to properly brush my teeth every day. No effort was made to take care of my long term needs. It's why during grade school I had little friends since my hair was greasy all the time, as my father and uncle told me "you don't have to wash your hair daily". Hence where I believe my social anxiety rooted from.

My upbringing was confusing. I was bullied and thrown around, my father wasn't home often. So I was left with the company of my pets, mother and older brother. During my earlier years me and my brother didn't get along at all. Borderline having hatred for one another, in two incidents where I almost died from him.

Funny thing is now we're much better. We get along great and enjoy deep meaningful talks, we both take care of each other and keep each other great company.

My father on the other hand I find it easier to explain his flaws than pros. He's somewhat racist, in some sense homophobic. Claiming if I was gay or anything than straight he'd disown me. He argues more often than anything, and if you try to reason or explain your side of a situation he'd go "yeah yeah ok" laugh, and close the door to his room.

To keep things in track I feel that my root feelings as to my beliefs now are:

- I feel no need to own children: -> Terrible family upbringing.
- My teeth were ruined: -> Lack of attention to me as a child.
- Lacked social skills: -> No emphasis to hygiene given to me as kid.
- I feel lack of any emotion to my father: -> Constantly argued with my mum.
- Depression, lack of direction: -> Lack of guidance in life, no role model or "father figure"

(To add onto my depression, I tried to kill myself a year ago. I felt like this world wasn't for me, that I played an unlucky hand and felt no purpose in life, like I'd find no career worth doing. Today, I love sharing my negative stories and helping those in need out and wish to pursue something in Law Enforcement, or psychology as I love learning how humans work, how they tick. Basically I'm the happiest I've been in my life.)

- I have trust issues: -> "Family" became a "lack of" family since the divorce.

Am I wrong to see the connections like such?

But the point I wanted to make was that my life was a roller coaster of emotions and trust issues.
As a general conciseness, is it normal for me to feel so emotionally distant from my family?
If so, why do I feel so much at fault for feeling this way?
But in the same sense, why do I feel it's right to feel?