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So, I notice that whenever people talk about their problems, usually someone will then tell their own story about how much worse their issue was. It kind of feels like a competition about "who has the worst problem", and frankly, I am not sure it is so normal.
So... is it?
Sadly, it's normal. It's also rude if it's done purely for oneupmanship. Sometimes people just genuinely want to commiserate, but other times it's obvious that Person B just used Person A's problems as an excuse to air his or her own. Ugh, everyone hates Person B, but there are just so many Person Bs around.
Every once in a while, it's a little tempting to be Person B yourself. If you read an IIN post about someone crying over a broken phone when your house just got destroyed in a tornado, you might talk about it as a way of saying, "Hey, don't feel too awful; it could be a *lot* worse." I think that's understandable, and it usually doesn't come across as obnoxious one-upping.
The assholes who compete for the most miserable story and minimize everyone else's, though...yeah, they are awful. I totally agree with you on that.
oh yeah you think you got it bad? i just contracted aids from a stray cat & am addicted to meth you know nothing of true misery i have so many problems & yours are minor in comparison
Normal in a juvenile, insecure, one-upsy sort of way. Commonplace amongst attention seekers.
Not normal in terms of proper behavior. If someone is willing to open up and share a problem you should have the decency to open your ears and shut your mouth.
Unfortunately too many people pretend to listen while waiting for their chance to talk.
i agree that this happens but i also understand that every person has their own personal tragedies hurting them and as much as they hear what others say, they are too involved with their own pains. it also happens at moments of accomplishments, hence the expression "steal someone's thunder". so i don't think it's a competition per se so much as it being beyond their emotional capability to leave their center to look outside of themselves. we are constantly looking for empathy and admiration ourselves
the people i admire the most and try to be like are the ones who are not only empathetic but are able to listen, ask questions and actually see the other person in front of them
I feel the exact same way. I feel it especially when they are comparing my seizures or heart arrhythmia episodes to say...a stomach ache? Just makes me stop and think for a moment, "...really?"
I never share my problems with anyone i just listen and think you're a dick.