Is it normal to be uncomfortable with gay roleplay?

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17 Comments

My boryfriend and I met through a roleplay community. We are both Bisexual and he wants to do a gay romantic roleplay (we usually stick to straight ones, we're a straight couple). It makes me uncomfortable to do them, mainly because I have always wanted to transition (My family wouldn't accept it and I wouldn't ever be able to totally transition, though, so I put it out of mind). Whenever he wants to I tell him it makes me uncomfortable due to that reason. Is this normal? Do other people have similar issues, or am I too sensitive?

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90% Normal
Based on 21 votes (19 yes)
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Comments ( 17 )
  • RoseIsabella
    3 years ago

    Don't do anything sexual with which you are not comfortable.

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  • Jamie_Sulky
    3 years ago

    Regardless of whether you identify as whichever, due to the issues surrounding your transition (such as family, etc) your feelings may have been complicated and it may be uncomfortable to suddenly bring those feelings into the bedroom. that fine. You feeling uncomfortable doesn't need an excuse, if you're uncomfortable then your not comfortable, and that's 100% normal.

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  • Boojum
    3 years ago

    You're not being over-sensitive; you're exercising your right to choose what you do, and your boyfriend seems incapable of respecting that.

    If you had simply refused to go along with his suggestion on one occasion, then it would be reasonable for him to suggest it again at another time. But it sounds like you understand exactly why the scenario triggers thoughts and emotions you find very uncomfortable and you have explained this to him, but he continues to suggest that you do it. This is disrespectful and selfish of him.

    Any positive, serious relationship is based on honesty (although total honesty at all times isn't a great idea!), negotiation, compromise and mutual respect and understanding. He has the right to want whatever he wants, but he's immature and selfish if he believes that being in a relationship with you means you must give him whatever he wants, regardless of how you feel about it.

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    • Edibleostrich
      3 years ago

      Thank you for your input. Recently we had a sit down, and I let him ask me a little more in deathly about it, and let him understand a little more, as I had been a bit uncomfortable before hand. He now respects my boundaries. On another note, I recently started identifying as genderfluid, so I allow them on certain days.

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  • FromTheSouthWeirdMan
    3 years ago

    Youre a straight couple? So you are a female then?

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    • Edibleostrich
      3 years ago

      Physically, yes, emotionally, not all the time.

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      • FromTheSouthWeirdMan
        3 years ago

        Its kind of confusing. Not trying to be a smartass but what were u born as

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        • Edibleostrich
          3 years ago

          I get it, I'm biologically a girl.

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          • FromTheSouthWeirdMan
            3 years ago

            Yeah its normal. Just because ur bi doesnt mean ur obligated to liking to be present when two dudes pork eachother. Thats a whole other ballgame.

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    • bigbudchonga
      3 years ago

      *Insert doubt meme*

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  • Mammal-lover
    3 years ago

    fuck your family. If they can't accept you for you then they arnt your real family. Blood doesn't matter.

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    • Blipblorpbing
      3 years ago

      Yeah you can be what ever as long as you aren't hurting anyone!

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  • Eny
    3 years ago

    It's normal to feel that way , and also it's your body and your decision to do something or not , if you don't want to do certain things don't push yourself for the sake of others just be yourself and be happy in whatever you want , the thought of roleplay excites everyone but sometimes in actual they don't want to try it , so it's common

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  • Tommythecaty
    3 years ago

    Gross

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    • Edibleostrich
      3 years ago

      Sorry.

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      • Tommythecaty
        3 years ago

        I’m kidding

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  • Wryladradofft
    3 years ago

    In my experience, as someone who has had consistently mediocre experiences with roleplay, an issue I had a lot was a reluctance to play any (usually gay) scenario that I actually would've really wanted to do. Part of it was just me being a neurotically shy self-obfuscating wreck surrounded by a community of mostly weird strangers, but beyond that I had this weird fear that, if I roleplayed such a scenario, then it would somehow lose all of its appeal. Like the act of actualizing it via roleplay would just spoil it, and it'd almost feel like losing a piece of who I am, leaving me with nothing but sadness and unsatisfactorily fulfilled homolust. If that makes any sense.

    I don't know if your issue is really like mine, or if my issue even makes sense, but this is the closest I can relate

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