Is it normal to be refused a place at lunch on your last day at work?

6 Comments

I will say in advance that because of my hectic emotions and unpredictable reactions to things, I have not been the most liked member in my department at work, even if have fulfilled my duties and not expressly done wrong.

It was my last day at work after 2 years' service and there was a big meal in a restaurant for all the personnel, including my department. My manager, and most other members of my department who were there, were sitting at the same table. There were 2 seats free at the table. I wanted to sit at one of them, but they told me that both the seats were saved for someone from a different department and that I'd have to sit elsewhere. I protested a little, but they did not change their mind. When I went to them at the end to say 'no hard feelings' and 'farewell', they had all left the restaurant and I could not say goodbye. Is this foul play or am I being too sensitive?

I have BPD and am hyper-sensitive to any kind of perceived rejection. This did feel like a rejection, and I am currently in a lot of pain. But I'm also aware that this could just be my BPD mind playing tricks on me and that what they did actually wasn't all that bad. Was the way my colleagues acted reasonable? Would this normally be considered rejection, by non-BPD people? Are my feelings reasonable?

Yes. Company meals are about discovering new people. If some didn't like you, who can blame them? 3
It would have been more normal to compromise, e.g. ask the waiter to set an extra table place. 2
No. Even if some of them didn't like you, they should have accommodated you as a matter of decency. 7
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Comments ( 6 )
  • bubsy
    6 years ago

    Sure, they were jerks. But deep, constant reflection (ruminating) on negative events only hurts you in the long run. It makes you a more negative, paranoid person who sees the worst in everyone.

    You need to acknowledge that it happened and that it's over. Your personality is based on what you choose to dwell on: force yourself to focus on the positive, and you'll become a person others will want to be around.

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  • Nickvey
    6 years ago

    may be thy were celebrating your departure

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    • Algum
      6 years ago

      I wouldn't even give a shit how they'd treat me anymore if it was my last day there and I wouldn't see them again.

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      • Nickvey
        6 years ago

        me neither . i never got a going away party , just my ass felt up by a horny hottie on the way out. Much nicer than a party anyway.

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  • lordofopinions
    5 years ago

    I think they were rude and inconsiderate.

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  • butthead84
    6 years ago

    Once you give your notice at a job you are likely to become an outsider. After all, you are leaving. This is why I told my spouse not to give any longer than 2 weeks notice at his job, even though he protested. They were rude. They could have grabbed you an extra chair. On the other hand who cares? You're leaving.

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