Is it normal to be against oneself doing the things they're supposed to?

Why do I feel a sort of instinctual repulsion/resistance to being told what to do?? The worst thing is I can't even get *myself* to do things. As soon as I try to *tell* myself to do it, I immmediately react with "no!! refuse!". Instead I just keep doing whatever else I shouldn't be doing. I'm literally the "Well now I am not doing it" meme, but constantly, and I often feel like I can't turn it off. it's super frustrating.

I feel like I'm somehow "giving in" to the "system" if I do what I should, when I should. What system??? I have no idea. But I can't "let them win" for some reason. It sometimes makes me refuse to even consider trying to stop, like, "if I try thinking like this, then it'll work (I'll do the thing) and they'll win. it'll work. they'll succeed."

am I afraid of conforming or something??

note: "things I'm supposed to be doing" is just stuff like getting out of bed, stop wasting time on social media/games, go eat some food/drink water, basically getting any sort of work done, etc. and as mentioned, also includes thinking about strategies are known to be effective, to break this kind of thinking.

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Based on 6 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • BlackButler

    How bad is it? Maybe you have oppositional defiance disorder. Or perhaps it’s simple “sin of pride.” This kind of behavior is common in children. Maybe you need to re-contextualize why you need to do things. Why do you do anything? It’s not because you were told to, That would be blind submission. it’s because of X Y Z benefit - keeping a job, earning an income, improving your health and so on. Try thanking people and even yourself for their concern as a way to begin to act opposite to the pride. Take mastery and acknowledge yourself when you do good things for yourself and others because they needed to be done, whether or not someone told you to. Remember that you are always making a choice, so no one can ever truly control you. Your choices are your ultimate self control, choose for your health, prosperity and wellbeing. Channel your desire for independence into something positive, rather than something reactionary. If you are being reactionary, you still are in a sort of bondage. Not liberated.

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  • Tommythecaty

    You’re a contrarian, yes it’s not as uncommon as one would think.

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  • soleyman_the_magnificent

    There are certain things you "have" to do to be a functional human being in modern society. I would argue that would include going to sleep and waking at a reasonable hour (although this would depend on if you work unusual hours), maintaining a basic level of personal hygiene, basic interpersonal communication skills, and basic money management.

    If you can't at least function at a basic level in society, then maybe you need to get help. Sure, there are a lot of things I don't "feel" like doing, and when I feel I'm being "nagged" by anyone about doing something, that generally makes me less inclined to want to do it. But if a bad habit or practice is seriously impeding my ability to function on a day-to-day basis, then it's time to take action.

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