Is it normal to always be left at home alone?

Nowadays in older so i understand how its ok now, but when i was a kid ny parents would always leave me and my younger sister home alone. My dad had a job, which is why for him, but my mom just was never really home for no reason? Like, it would be the weekends and she'd leave us home alone till VERY late, without much food too. She'd even leave like that when i had a friend over. And when shes home, shes never with us-- shes either always in her room or smoking outside. Is this normal? I thought it was but my friend said it wasnt so im not sure

Is It Normal?
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  • According to the context you have described (like she had no real reason to go out and you guys were just kids), I am going to say NO. Kids are kids, and leaving them unsupervised can lead to horrible consequences, especially for long periods of time. Also, kids need to receive love from their parents (or their main carer), which is not possible if the parents are never around.

    From what you say, it sounds like your mum was trying to avoid being around her kids, and it sounds like you are bothered by this, and I think it's very normal to feel neglected under your circumstances.

    Both your parents should have realised you guys were being neglected, and should have tried to find a solution (provided they had options available to them, and sometimes that's not the case).

    The truth is that not everybody is cut out to be a parent (or maybe they have kids when they are not ready), and adults sometimes also need support (because of personal issues, issues with their marriage/relationship, or issues with their circumstances) in order to be functional.
    Not everybody asks for help (as not everybody is self-aware or aware of their situation), therefore things do not often improve/change over time.

    Usually, the problems of the parents are transferred to the kids, from the kids to the grandkids, and so on. This is called transgenerational trauma. Being aware of the issues can help stop this chain, and dramatically improve one's quality of life, and the quality of future generations from one's lineage.

    I am very happy you came out with this question, as this may start a process for you that will make your life great.

    I hope this helps.

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    • Thanks a lot, its really informative and i appreciate that you told me about this :)
      Ill keep this in mind. Thanks, again

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  • Every family is different. I let my 11 year old stay home by himself but it’s never more than a grocery trip. If I needed to though, I’d let him stay home alone while I worked. However I would never let my 5 year old stay alone with the 11 year old. Lol.

    Maybe they just felt like you were mature enough.

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    • I got it, thanks

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